How to Stop Arguing in a Relationship
Nubian Speakin is a sex therapist and erotic poet. Through years of counseling couples, she has developed a keen understanding of the strings that hold a relationship together, as well as the factors that drive them apart.
In this episode, Nubian acts as a arbiter of the female mind. She carefully dissects what makes women tick, and presents it to us on a silver platter. Moreover, she gives keen advice on how to work in cooperation with these subtle nuances. After this episode, you can expect to replace the arguments in your relationship with flawless communication and incredible sex. Some interesting topics we cover include:
1:41 – How money affects your relationships
7:45 – Is marriage necessary
1:04:33 – Better sex and relationships through honest communication
1:27:41 – How to stop arguing in a relationship
1:37:39 – Keys to a successful relationship
1:45:20 – How to get over a breakup
2:05:12 – Attract higher quality women by changing your location
2:10:45 – How to find your purpose
The full podcast episode:
The audio version of this episode:
The most interesting excerpts from this episode:
How to Get Over a Breakup – Advice From a Sex Therapist
Is Marriage Necessary
Hey, you know, it's funny. I always I always feel like oh, I'm my woman's don't happen the relationship. Joel it's so easy to make you guys happy. It is so simple to get it. You know what? I don't think it's as complicated as men make it out to see because you know what makes it to be. I think that men have already said the fact that women are difficult because remember, you're dealing with different types of personality. It's who you attract. So if you're saying that they're difficult maybe this is not the person for you. Why is it so difficult we just want time and attention yep it's the little things and even if you gave us some time we're good go do you but most men and most women in their marriages the man he makes all the money he takes care of the home because you know why in his mind oh she happy cuz I'm taking care has I bought this Mercedes and all we want it with some attention and time you
doing all this just not to give us the simple thing that we want it. Just little things, little things and I understand you if you if you're a hustle, and you're you're working to maintain all of this, don't get lost in the fact Yeah, I get you. I know you got to work to have this stuff. But don't get lost in translation with the whole I got to work in order to be happy. No, we need some type of content. We still need to have this together thing even if it's for a brief moment, but your day in day out, you're doing the same thing you're not paying attention and all we're whining about is some time or can you wash the dishes sometimes or I'm not saying that you want to hear some of the best relationship advice I've ever gotten in my gosh Are you familiar with the way of the superior man that book by David data now I'm good book really good book. He gives a lot of good advice. Okay, but I'd say the one small piece of advice he gave me that completely changed how I approach relationships is this if you're dating a woman and y'all start fighting, I'll start fighting about that.
Whatever it is taking out the trash during the distance and there are exceptions sometimes y'all are fighting about an issue and it's about the issue but 95% of the time you're fighting about an issue it's not about the issue it's because your woman is not feeling loved enough yes and so if you're a woman to say take out the trash to do they
don't like that but if they're getting upset about that say look baby wants you to know I love you and give FB a gas live alone. Big I love so my and we are going to figure these dishes out together. But whatever happens I love just so much. Listen, listen, just soften her as right up because they're awesome advice. I think men get into the logical the real issue we think it's about the dishes about the dishes in the garbage and all that and they never once thought and think like she needs some attention. It's just a great tell us a bit about the dishes. Let me just say that because she's just frustrated right now at this point, like oh my god, you're not paying me no attention. You don't want to do this and you're still doing the things
we just all of that even if the woman is aware that you just wants love it like a lot of times it's subconscious but like you can't expect women to come and say hey look I'm not feeling loved one if I want attention that's not how that's not people communicate and don't communicate directly like that like they it comes out in other ways and so you end up and you have to see that this be so silly things like really really silly things before you know
I've done it before so I know that's a good that's a good it's a good on it I remember reading that and I was in kind of a relationship at the time relationship ended up ending but after I read that I try to experiment with it. She was she worked it worked he gets me like that all the time. Good job Alex. Well done all the time. I say You make me sick and then I can laugh because he did that
and you but he got me huh, man. You want to know my my biggest my biggest secret whole thing.
Opening Doors is one is actually once even more impressive than when you go sit down at a table pull the chair out Ah
yes yes no one is that some people open doors no and both the chair I know so when you in establishment everybody's looking he puts cheering and then other couples are fine it's like what the did you do that for me
Jeremy will get see the look on my looking like uh huh okay she's showing out okay. See, you know, let's see what the driver
one thing that we mostly did this as a joke just to embarrass my mom but a backlink the 1800s anytime a woman used to leave the table we would like everyone would stare like the setup me me and my family did that's my mom and my mom is the sweetest whenever she just doesn't really like attention. And we do that because we met it like it's like we love you. But also like we're gonna try to embarrass you a little bit like you stand up and like we would all stand up and we'd like do it. Obviously we're like we wouldn't stand all the way up because that
So they used to do they didn't have like then they sit back down almost like to tell yes
Andy and she'd be like
stop stop the like nobody doing that
but that's cute i love it but yeah um that's a good one you're gonna you're gonna be a winner I hope so opening those doors Mary Sue the argument he look great today beautiful little compliments on it it doesn't take that much I just think people make it like such so easy alien get your girl some flowers right hurt spent 10 minutes writing or no go with it and what she will almost cry I swear to god she texts all every friend every should have what I call them with every little thing that he does I make sure I baby it's the little things I'm so emotional because he did my it's the little things men don't realize it's those little things like just one day are just do it not because
Whatever it so just because
if I got something to say flowers and what I will post you know what this is just because not because it's a holiday not because it's my birthday women love that because then it's now if you do it they think it's a pattern and you're doing it doing like I'm just doing that because we had an argument or he just doing that because we're that we're not going to take light of that we're going to be like okay whatever but out of the blue those little things go a long way because then even if he's being that joke or that or whatever we can kind of like you know what I know he's he's good yeah he's just you know, having a bad yeah just like women when we you know get our dimensional What have we have those times were unbearable. I think men have those times to you're just not labeled. But you have your days Oh, 100 years. Yeah, yeah. Yeah,
just being that person that particular time of the week, month, whatever, but everybody has
Those times, but those little things we can go back. And one thing I would say is to make sure that if you are doing those little things, and be honest with yourself, because there are a lot of men who are like, palm tree mug, oh right, I do that You ain't doing. So if you're being honest with yourself, and you're being observant, and you really are putting forth the effort and you're getting her flowers and you're doing all that and you're pulling out to all those little things in the girl doesn't appreciate it. You see, not the one you got she not the walk out of there. She's not the one I have a lot of female who gets done those things. But there's so
no so up in the air and not being grateful. They don't focus on the whole entire they ship because at that time the man is feeling that he's at his end with this whole fan. So my brother is probably the king of doing these little things. This This dude's creative eat like okay, he taught me this one right, your girl sweet little love notes, but then don't give them to her. hide them like
Let them find that boy he thought oh my goodness Portuguese like hid this note and like the girls like sugar jar and she doesn't even really eat sugar so she found that like two months later it's like this really sweet oh I was like man
when it comes to I love coffee so much of the next day the next day or that morning like oh my god but that is awesome but I was telling I'm like listen if I did that to the girl that I was dating at the time not only would she freaked the out she would tell all of her friends about it to tell us about it oh my gosh everybody lose her mind and I said How did she react to it he's like she she said thank you she appreciated it I'm like get the Get the out and you're telling you're leavin hidden love nodes now in the shame. I like your notes in the sugar he she's like well, she wrote me a note back I'm like like she didn't keep that's not it. That's not it. Like she should be losing her.
Note the sugar jar that's a wrap when there's a note in the sugar jar that should be a wrap this would be a picture amo faith I'm telling mom sister Can you believe in the world know that my do left a note in the sugar joy out of nowhere and you know it's good you're telling people that because you're raising the bar you're raising the bar for other guys when they go on Facebook and they see Alex left the note in the show Oh Mr Matt a lot oh he showed out so I'm gonna be like I gotta do but you're not even showing out because he's been doing this for years I just think some people who are not getting it done who are not
stepping they barber who are not there yet feel some type of way but then in the back of their mind they gotta know that they got to step their game up and some do But like I say you have some men who think
I shouldn't be doing all that yeah sad a woman and and it's funny because you know my brothers like well she wrote me a note back as an equal and I'm like, Well, not really. Because men
Women express themselves and they're totally different. A woman like okay there's a reason that we give women flowers and not the other way around is because women love flowers. Men don't really give a if you get flowers I love what we do enjoy is positive feminine energy and love and that's what y'all are good I when we give you flowers and you're exchanging that for energy that you give us back and I said, that's what she should be giving you. You should feel like you should be getting Bambi is from her next three days should be put on a pedestal. She should do something special. Like you said she'll be bragging about in but writing a note back that wouldn't have not been my reaction. That's not a ride. I don't need to write. It's just you did this.
You did this. I have posted certain things like that. Like he would do things he's good at that raising the bar.
Sam is an ambassador for personal growth. When Sam started to take action towards a better life, it wasn’t long before he was hooked faster than Captain Blackbeard’s left hand. Years later, Sam strives to produce change in others similar to the identity level transformation which occurred within himself. His aim is to break fulfillment down into a series of straightforward steps, and introduce it into the life of anyone who is willing to embark on the path of action, education and ownership.