Pro Basketball Player & Manwhore Turned Entrepreneur with Alex Smith 2018-10-20T23:53:28+00:00

Project Description

Pro Basketball Player & Manwhore Turned Entrepreneur with Alex Smith

Alex Smith, pro basketball player, dishes out advice on how a young man should manage his life, specifically with regards to the money and women within it. After hosting his own radio show dedicated to giving relationship advice, Alex offers key insights on how to bring high quality women into your life, how to keep them there, and how to draw strong boundaries in your relationships.


Through his current career as a financial adviser, Alex offers insight on the most effective ways to generate and manage wealth in one’s life. Some interesting topics we cover include:

00:43 – In what ways Thailand is better than the US
16:39 – How he went from NBA player to MVP Entrepreneur
29:29 – Don’t follow your passion, follow the market demand
42:35 – Establish end goals with passion and money in mind
54:33 – How to overcome your fear of public speaking
1:09:39 – Getting higher quality women through knowing who you are and who you want
1:22:53 – Why Proper communication is everything
1:35:25 – How to draw boundaries in your relationship
1:49:47 – Success with your woman by treating every day like it’s the first date
2:09:17 – The importance of patience

The audio version of this podcast:
https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-mental-architect/id1435994254?mt=2

The most interesting excerpts from this podcast:

“Be Yourself” Relationship Advice Finally Explained
https://samsebree.com/be-yourself-relationship-advice-finally-explained

From NBA Player to MVP Entrepreneur
https://samsebree.com/from-nba-player-to-mvp-entrepreneur

How to Overcome Fear of Public Speaking
https://samsebree.com/how-to-overcome-fear-of-public-speaking

Enjoy!

Click Here to View the Full Transcript

0:00
We have Alex Smith, professional basketball player turn financial advisor, we're going to discover the lessons he learned from his years of being a man whore on the road. As a professional basketball player, we're going to figure out the secrets to financial freedom and whether or not you should follow your passion in life. Or if you should just follow what makes money. What generates the most happiness. We're going to figure out how to communicate effectively and how this is going to have a positive effect on your business relationships. And literally every aspect of your life.

0:37
The mental architect with Sam Sebring no bullshit blueprint for peak performance.

0:44
Be the best you can be.

0:54
We're here with Alex Smith, professional basketball player, professional ladies, man, modern philosopher of masculinity. Does that about

1:03
that about cover it? Oh, yeah, I think that's about it. And then

1:06
something like that. Something like that. You got a few opinions here and there that uh. that aren't quite captivating. Have you have you been lately though?

1:13
I'm great salmon. Um. Thank you for having me. Here. You know some after you know, seeing Nubian performing your show last about two weeks ago now is impressive what you do, and I'm glad I could be here with you. Well,

1:26
I mean, you girl Nubian came and drop knowledge for two hours, and then we shut down the podcast and then you start dropping knowledge and it was like, God Damn, it's just a power. Couple of knowledge. Holy shit. Yeah, there's a lot going on. Y'all. Y'all need to yummy to start your own podcast or something that will kill it

1:41
kind of depends on how this goes today may determine what we do in the future. Interesting. So

1:48
what's been interesting in your life lately? You're living in Thailand? That's a weird one.

1:51
I live in Thailand like who does that who the

1:54
fight goes to Thailand

1:56
and the crazy part is I'm from Miami which is one of the you know dream destinations when it comes to a legendary United States correct and so when people hear that I love Miami they're like oh my god I'm like yeah that should tell you something you know if that's one of the best places to live but up every day I wake up happy man it's the land of smiles right that's it I see why every day I wake up happy you know like no alarm set you made me set my alarm for the first time right it's

2:26
2pm it is 2pm that I got you over here and you're you're setting alarms to wake up literally you could

2:33
actually I said three alarms to make sure I was up by 12 maybe we're living your best life we are what makes

2:41
you happiest what uh. What's better about Thailand in the United States or I guess what's worse about the United States and better way of phrasing it

2:48
um. What most people aren't aware of is

2:52
only United States doing number one in two things mass incarceration is that mass shooting out damn so when comes to my decision to move to Thailand it was solely based off of safety you know here I am safe you know I'm not worried about you know someone coming into a school shooting up people I'm not worrying about you know all the crazy I'm not worried about you know them poisoning our water or so that is the main difference here versus the United States is safety you know we had I don't know if you're here for Songkran I wasn't I also sad I missed it for those who don't know it's basically the tie holiday where everyone runs around naked and sprays each other with with water guns and she's a little bit more in depth than that

3:38
naked that there's no history so ever

3:40
it is to tie new year and they believe in blessing you it doesn't so with with him winning you with water is I'm just giving you a blessing now so of course we had to modernize it and yeah the water guns too but oh so three day workshop I usually I don't go out to events like that in Miami you know ultra and those type of things don't go because large crowds attract data exactly here I was out with millions of people country why would if I were out partying with word it goes there's no fighting there's people are you know just shooting your face there's no anger no problem is water gun instead of real guns correct and it was just so that experience was just amazed I'm sorry you missed it like no I'm so interested that solidified it for me like okay I'm never leaving this place So what

4:29
makes a the United States feel particularly on safety because if I were to project I would assume it's actually a mixture of issues not only the the gun issue but my other African American friends and moved to Thailand say it's it's a race issue

4:45
in modern modern day United States not just as a black man in the United States they just don't feel safe editor correct. And then you know also at my stature you know six six foot eight by the way I don't know if he's towering over me even sitting down so yeah so yeah so it was um 682 hundred 80 pounds

5:09
which you think people wouldn't fuck with you it was more so the reason why they would you know because everyone think that they could just Fuck everyone up no matter what

5:18
what it is is people do things when they're afraid or when they're intimidated so you know me being from Florida I'm also in our a firearms instructor okay so I'm very aware of a lot of people have their concealed weapon permit and the requirements is very minimal to have that concealed permit so you have a lot of people that purchase firearms and never practice never use it never do anything with the firearm so now it's late at night now you have this large person walking past they don't know what to do with their firearm next thing you know now I'm shot and the judge is gonna look at me and all they have to say is I was afraid for my life now just gonna see okay um yes

6:03
I'm afraid for my life to hearing this quarter

6:06
I look in the mirror and on my own show okay okay it's just me just me shit

6:10
yes in a job to ask them for look in the mirror they tell you not to do that story

6:14
so so from that standpoint um. And I will believe it's a gun issue at all because there's countries across the world that have similar gun laws are very liberal with their gun laws and they have a lot lower crime rate really what countries because from what I muscle in Thailand's very similar as well can you get a gun here in Thailand after your resonant? Um, no. Shed? Yep. Dear resident you don't even hear about guns Why is

6:40
it the fucking gun crazy? Exactly my point were so gung ho If you'll excuse the bad joke there's no

6:47
and there's also numerous gun ranges this located in Chiang Mai like so.

6:52
Cambodia for 300 bucks you could shoot a cow with a rocket launcher

6:57
it is Cambodia Yep. I was tempted I would not want to do that

7:01
I felt I think I think they get I think the cow is extra the rocket launchers 300 and then your target was like add on. So you chewed house or like a tiny little stone house for 100 bucks, then I think the cow was probably a little bit more than that. Because you know, cows expensive. Yeah, I didn't do it. But fuck if I didn't think about it, man.

7:23
This sounds like that. Sounds interesting. I don't know if I'll ever partaken anything so cruel. But But

7:29
I mean, yeah, man. I mean, you could kind of boil it down and say it's not a gun issue. It's a people issue, which is true. But if you remove the guns that kind of solves the people issue for you. I mean, solving the people issue that that could take some work, it would take an entire reformation of a culture for example, Thai culture, 98% of people here, a Buddhist correct. So it's pretty logical that they're not going to have a whole lot of homicides and things like that. And so when people say, you know, we should we should educate people and help change the people. That is true. That is true, but that is a much taller order than just saying, look, sorry, y'all. Y'all have had 10 mass shootings in the past two weeks, no more guns. But here's the

8:16
thing about that is

8:20
criminals are going to be criminals regardless, right? If there's a lot of these guys that have guns, now, it's illegal to have them. So when you say more gun laws, it's like, okay, you're only affecting law abiding citizens, right? Because if I'm going to be a criminal, I don't care Oh, my God, to have more gun laws. Great. So now I know that person more likely doesn't have a firearm, and I do so now there's there's that factor and then we can talk about the Second Amendment it was put in place to prevent the government from

8:50
it. Yeah, and now the government has drones and they're gonna fuck you up. You're sitting there with your 12 gauge and they're rolling in with drones and new re missile bro, come on, back in the day. You can defend yourself or a government. That is absolutely

9:01
right. But that was that was the whole premise of why Second Amendment was it put in place so when I sit back and I watch these events on the folding, you know, I sit back and look at it like, okay,

9:14
one the NRA is not a governing body by the way, it's just a group of lobbyists. But when there's an issue, the first thing that the media does is turn to Oh, the NRA needs to do something. Why does the NRA need to do something so just a group of brothers they're just like, yeah, okay, guy who just wanted a group of guys that the government needs to do something right. And I often refer to the United States as the divided states because every state has a different gun law. Right. So I'm telling you about Florida's gun policy, but there might be it might be more lenient gun laws elsewhere. So I understand need to you I want to unify, you know, criteria across the board. You know, like, for example, in Florida,

9:59
you can't get get a firearm? Well, first of all, in order to get a firearm right away, you have to have a concealed weapons permit. Okay. And to have concealed weapons permit, you need to be at least 21 years of age, you know, and also good men to those things. But remember, crazy usually doesn't show up

10:16
right away. You keep the crazy cool for the two hours a day of the pyramid.

10:20
So now, once you have the permit, okay, if you want to buy a firearm, you go buy a firearm, it's going to take a couple hours, but you get that date

10:29
now without a consumer that day, correct. You don't even have the weekend waiting period was in Texas. Oh, see. Exactly. Exactly. My point. No, Texas was pretty bad. I mean, you get it in two or three days. And I thought that was bad. Oh, no, you can't have that data flow. You're still mad after a day. You can't eat can't cool down after a couple hours. So so. But once again, this is you have a concealed weapons permit.

10:50
So now they figured, okay, you're a professional. you've trained with having a fun, that's a big thing to figure you have a permit to not think about all the people that have driver's license, we know they shouldn't be on the road now. No, healing a bitch. So that's the process with a concealed weapons permit without a permit. Now, if you're just know over 18, it takes five to seven days. Background checks everything before you get a fire. I get still get one if you're 18. Oh, yeah, of course. So he's got to wait a week, a whole week. Correct. So we kind of man after week do not as bad as a day look cool down. So though, and once again, the divided states, so that's Florida. But you go to Georgia and go to Texas, and it might be a different law, you might get it that day, or you might not need a permit. So I think a unified you know, gun regulations if needed. So let's talk about the gun talk. Well, it's

11:43
just it's very, very interesting because I was actually a very pro gun for most of my life. And Funny enough, I was almost immediately converted by a comedian of all people named Jim Jeffries, who gave this this very long bit about guns and guns in Australia. He made it hilarious. But he basically told the true history of gun ownership in Australia. And that was that in the 90s, they had a massive school shooting, I forget exactly the name of it. And Australia said, okay, no more guns in Australia and said, Yeah, that sounds about right. And the homicide rate went down something like 80% just a ridiculous amount. And it's true, it is true what you're saying that criminals will still import guns the same way you make cocaine, illegal criminals are still going to get cocaine for it. But it's interesting in that

12:38
it's not quite the same as drugs and that people want to do some mother fucking cocaine. There are some people there are some gun nuts that really just want to play with guns. But for the most part, it's an availability issue. And Australia kind of proved statistically in arguably that, dude, you take away guns, for the most part, for the most part, it's gonna help.

12:57
And I like shooting guns. It's fun. I mean, it's coming from a guy that thinks guns are fun, but I don't know. It just seems like an awful lot of power for one particular person. had to be able to pull the trigger and fuck someone up. Go learn some kung fu or something. Um,

13:10
it actually when I started carrying on a regular I usually carry leads to firearms will be home at all times.

13:17
Yeah, like on your person? Yeah. You got some right now? Oh, I'm in Thailand. Thailand? I'm no good yet. Two

13:23
states? No, no, me at all times. Yeah. Oh, I have like, several guns. So. So.

13:27
So one pistol isn't enough. You gotta have the the second

13:31
Well, think about this. You're in the bank. Or you're in the stores? Yeah. Someone comes in is three of them. Uh huh. It's just you. Now you have your firearm. Now. There's somebody else next to you a take this one she if the gun jams with some other reason, or some whatever the case may be. Now you have your backup file.

13:49
I'm not going to rob the bank that you're in Brazil is it's

13:54
it's a few different things. I'm licensing as well. So because I believe in licensing and certification. Yeah. So if you have the time, why not learn something new? So

14:02
do you hold them both out at the same time? Like to the side matrix style? Because that would that's the only reason I'll get to guns. It's like fallback. Slow motion? Yeah, no,

14:13
not that way. You're like

14:14
this is the reason that guns are a problem.

14:17
But if I turn it to the side and shit you're gonna shoot a grandma and accident

14:22
is I'm sorry, I forgot. original question.

14:24
I forgot the original question too. I think we're just shooting Elliot something like that. But man you were your professional basketball player. Oh yeah. What was that like not not a lot of people are professional basketball player I'm

14:36
It was great it was an IT WAS I enjoyed that experience I'm you know it it got to show me a lot of the world you know, at an early age as well there's a process of getting there no your athlete as well you know, I'm not here level but what I

14:51
did me you're an athlete you

14:52
know, regardless of what level you play it there's certain characteristics that's built into us because of us being athletes that the regular people regular people really don't understand and you know, in our arena we think everyone thinks like us man and that's caused me a lot of problems because like you know we have this by any means necessary type of you know, we're going to get this done we're gonna get this win don't quit never quit later. The pain correct little. So that approach you know, is why a lot of businesses love dealing with athletes because we work well with others even if we don't like him, we're usually used to the spotlight are used to getting credit for things. So we don't need to be pat on the back all the time. And so it's just a lot of great characteristic we learn so now think of what you've learned playing sports and think of it like times 10 to get to a professional level. Exactly. So that wasn't one of my goals growing up you know, it was just one of those things where I grew four inches in one month in my junior high school and home has a funny looking kid I was like, I'm still hoping that's gonna happen to me four inches where you at? And I did two years of ballet by the way there you go. I'll tell you what else what I did to develop a work on my coordination balance flexibility and you know a lot of people here that I like I'm I got a ballet and most athletes do ballet or some form of dance in a shin so like my first year doing badly I was like okay you know what my basketball coach put me in the class I said you know what it's gonna be a lot of women here should be great

16:21
well boy was I wrong

16:25
let's just say it was nothing but the instructor to look at Oh no, it was nothing but football players basketball No shit I was la just Abella just I figured the best reason new ballet would be to get laid. I spoke to the top five year to now. Oh, yeah, it was great. You know, I the top students. Oh, yeah. Yeah. No. But that definitely helped me go to the next level. So now when it's time to go to college with a cultural education and, you know, was a plan on playing basketball in Well, I was planning on playing basketball, but no one else knew I had that plan. Right. You know, no, coaches know, colleges. Noah host new. Even my parents were like, really gonna play basketball in college. I'm like, Yeah, why not? Because I only play when you're high school basketball and does a lot of clapping. clapping. But so my parents were like, Oh, are you figure you just gonna make this happen? And I'm like, because I just know I can do it. Yeah, so I went to knock Smith.

17:19
Exactly. That's my catchphrase. Like, my fucking

17:22
life.

17:23
So now, I mean, I started go school in North Carolina. And just there, you know, couldn't get richer anything because I didn't take care what I need to take care of leaving high school because I didn't know. So coaches. Like, I can't do anything with you. Sorry. You had to wait until next year. Maybe you could try out. So now you have me

17:40
in North Carolina. A Miami guy.

17:44
Private School down there all my life. Now you had me free and no cow? No, coach. No one to monitor me. Let's just say it was a hell of a time.

17:54
Good Time to get in trouble.

17:57
Yeah,

17:58
let's just say they decided that up. I need a year off. Yeah. First

18:01
year, they encouraged you to take a year off. Yeah, they

18:04
said it might be beneficial for me. But um, you weren't kicked out. You were asked to leave. It was nicely I had that before. But the good thing that happened is, although I didn't go to law class that year, I played a lot of basketball. There you go. So now, I grew into the fortress at year. Um, so now you are good to go. Now, I'm six eight now. Coaches like man, we'll figure out something to do with your loss. I got kicked out. Oh, hell yeah. Well, what happens? I came back down to Miami and my high school coach saw me in the gym and said, Alex, were you doing? I said, I'm coach. You know, I just got a job as a car salesman. You know, I'm good. I'm, he's like, Well, listen, while you were playing. I made a few calls to one of my coaches in Minnesota State and he'll give you a scholarship to come there. I'm like, Yes. co sight unseen or just based on this guy's word verse based on his word. So I said that guy right there. Yeah, my high school coach is one of the top coaches in high school history. So, so he's like, I'm, so I'm like, Oh, yeah, that's great. You know, so I go home to brag to mom. Like, you know, Mom, guess what? You know, coach, Coach Marcos, like grade and this and that. And, and there's a guy and then he has a coast and can give me a scholarship to go to Minnesota. She's Oh, great. What do you tell you tell? I said no.

19:16
All I know is I never saw her hand moves so fast. And next thing, Sam. Two days later, I got two suitcases on my way to Minnesota that hadn't been written what the fat had to trip like, and it worked out for me, because they decided to know build around me, get me together. And next thing you know, I'm going pro and it was like, wow, you know, worked out a few NBA teams didn't get signed. But um, I didn't care. You know, give me the fortune over the fame any day. Because a lot of people aren't aware of that. Every country has their own leak, you know, MBA, just the main one because we live in America. So that's what you know how. So? They pay us very well. Also. Yeah, some more than the NBA.

19:59
NBA has this weird cap on the contract, right? It was like 10 million.

20:03
I don't know what it is now. Because of the new media. Dylan. There's something going on there. But Europeans, it just depends the teams like you have Russia I remember when the during the lockout. They were offering Kobe like $20 million for like, 10 games. Yeah, no, just those type of things is what they do. So you know, I was okay. With planning internationally. You know, I got a chance to, you know, live in Turkey, Colombia, Chile, Estonia, Dominican Republic, you know, so I've got a chance to travel and I'll go for four to six months at a time and now that that really matured me you know, that definitely matured me it was just like wow I got to see the world your story

20:37
sounds a bit contradictory to the stories of most professional athletes though Wouldn't you agree I agree and I'm usually hear the story I was four years old and I put my face on the grindstone and just ever since I was young I just going for it and not because I know you put a lot of work in but you you the way you phrased it was so damn cat. Well, that just sounds like yeah, shut up eight inches. And I was a pro basketball player it Yes.

21:05
And I did get a lot of hate because of that. So because it I'm not the the most humble people at times. So it will be humble in when you this cool, right? And the crazy thing is because when my high school coach rehab homes Kimmy retiring A few years ago, he said during his speech, he said, Everyone always gives me credit for being such a great coach. But the only kid that I had to go play professional basketball was a kid I never played. I'm Alex Smith, you know? And I was just like, yeah,

21:37
pitch. Yeah. So,

21:39
but, you know, coming from my school capital prep school. So most people were there for basketball scholarship, something. So that's why I never got a chance to, you know, someone who just there for education, I never got a chance to really play because, you know, they have this guy on scholarship, that guy, they're recruiting this player, so, but that made me like, wow, this is all I want to know. Just to prove that prove my point. And so But yeah, I got a lot of hatred because of that. Because I was very lacks about it. And that's why I tell people NBA talent, but it's not in being worked out. Because that's about wasn't a goal for me, you know, that wasn't mine, realize that you're going to be six foot eight, no one told me it was even that it's just that my goal was always to be an entrepreneur. So I started looking at basketball, like, you know, this is a way to get my startup money to do whatever business venture I want to do. So it was like,

22:28
Okay, let's, let's play. I was gonna say, you got your shit to get. Not that I hang out with a lot of professional basketball players, but based on my impression of them after they retire, it seems like you ever sit together a lot better than the vast majority of them.

22:39
Well, you gotta remember. Um, let's see, now I've been on the coach would let me years or so. And my basketball career was short. It's like three years, you know. So after that, after I blew my basketball money. After my first interview, I tore my rotator cuff. I blew my mind, you know, making it rain a lot, you know, so you got to, but I quickly realized that we're not taught about finance. So after I blew that money, and now I'm injured, I can't I'm not on the contract when I got injured. So it's like, Okay, what am I gonna do? I always knew sales is going to be the best way for me.

23:12
So what I get when I get into I got to finance you know, so the last that's what got me here. You know, the last eight years or so, I've been the financial industry. So this may sound strange, but I'm curious, did the skills that you learn playing professional basketball and being a professional athlete transfer into the world of entrepreneurship? Oh, hell yeah. In what sense? Oh, my God, what's like the number one, two or three thing that you learned being a professional athlete that transferred into the real world into the business world

23:39
handling adversity, you know, being able to, you know, get knocked down and be able to build get yourself back up, you know, that probably is not give up, you know, kind of persevere to the hard times, because everyone wants to do this entrepreneur title around, but don't realize that she's a lot of work. That's, it's all right issue as hard as hell do this. And then also, just knowing the numbers, you know, so just like a basketball, you know, no one field goal percentage, just knowing those type of thing helps me with business because I know, okay, if nine out of 10 businesses fail, but she, I'm going to do 10, you know, I, you know, I mean, so, because you want it when it comes to be an entrepreneur, you only have to be right once. Yep. And so, my mindset was always I'll feel my way to success. So, just keep doing it. You know, so basketball gave me that perseverance you know that you know, man up, you know, get it done, you know, in no time for crying type of that my mindset, so sometimes it can be very militant with it. And it's sometimes I get frustrated when others don't have that mindset. It's annoying is I'm like, How do you know? What do you mean? You're gonna quit? like, Yeah,

24:44
why? So. So that's why it's literally the only option to keep on going. And, and some people don't realize that and it can be so fucking frustrating when you're, especially when you're used to dealing with people that have that mental toughness. And that mental toughness can be something that's hard to cultivate. And it can be hard to find in other people, but it will take you so so so fucking far. That's one reason that uh, I love jujitsu so much as I have yet to find anything. We're not even sports. Anything that cultivates mental toughness in the same way that having a giant motherfucker trying to murder you for two hours a day. Good. Imagine It's crazy. Someone's trying to murder you two hours. And later that day on my podcast isn't getting very many of you shut

25:31
the fuck up. Man. You You at least you're not getting murdered. Correct? Correct. Exactly. This is back when I mean those skills, that discipline that you got from playing that sport. Same here, like for example, you know, people will be like, Oh my god, I can't believe this person says something about Yeah, I'm like, Yeah, I've been actually having thousands of millions of people retweeting or, yeah, well, gee, you know, I will play games. And I'll be in Colombia, South America, and, you know, the opposing team know that their crowd is trying to fight us is Lily around like, throwing chairs on the court and stuff like that. So, you know, that prepared me for just be able to handle pressure, you know, being able to Yeah, I think

26:08
it's important for people to have an experience where they are publicly shamed at least once in their life. It's so funny. I know, people that are just so so caught up in what other people think about them, that it it just trifles them it. Just fix them up so badly. And everyone has that because if you don't have that you're a psychopath. Yeah, that's the way it works. But you need to learn to minimize that. And it's, in my opinion, it's kind of an exposure therapy technique. And they just need to get used to people giving you shit. And it's not until Greenwich and you get

26:42
literally an entire entire group and entire community of people you've never met, who just fucking are sling and shit at you is hundreds, maybe even thousands of people. In your case. There's Fuck you. Alex Smith. You realize fuck you guys. First off, this isn't so bad. Correct? It's so bad. And my worst fears have come true. Hundreds of people don't like me. Thousands.

27:04
It goes up. So. Exactly. So it definitely makes me desensitized to other people's opinions. Because it's like, yeah, thousands of people were just, you know, screw you calling me this to call you that, like, doesn't bother me. So definitely. Um. And But once again, I had to realize that the skill set that we developed not everyone has it is

27:28
a skill set that you can cultivate Kareena, it's not you came in on your first day basketball practice. And like, let's fucking get it. One more lap. Motherfucker. One more lap. You're probably huffing and wheezing. And yeah, my alley broke before your body dead. Even though I'm sure both of breaking it same time. Oh, God. Please don't bring up these don't bring up the memories.

27:48
So we're doing suicides today. I know get your shoes on his

27:53
head was so many suicides is they've recently taken that out? Did you have the presidential fitness test when you were a kid? Oh, we were having that shit in school. Well, we have that in my school. And basically, it was the one day a year the band all the kids together. And they would basically put them in line, see how many pull ups I could do see only push ups they can do and like make them run and shit and then write them down. And they made us do suicides as a school. And apparently they recently removed it because they did a study and allegedly a quote cause too much suffering.

28:27
Well, what was that back? In my case? Yes. And we had this, we had this thing called,

28:32
I think I've heard of these, which is my coach. And that's one of my favorite drills. Not at all.

28:38
And that was a punishment. This is college. What would one do in order to earn a 2020? Um,

28:44
well, what I do know not go to class not know those. Those type of things. Um, you know, Miss practice those, those type of things like that. Yeah, or it's just our punishment. And depending on how severe depend on how many 2020s you do, 2020 is suicides in 20 minutes.

29:02
Yes. When you get multiple of those. Yes,

29:05
we do multiple. So you have you have like, so he'll put the clock on the first minute. So you want to go through as fast as you can, because you want to get more rest now at that two minute mark. You supposed to do no suicide. Yeah. So each minute, yes, we'll be doing that suicide. So the faster you get it done is the more time you have the rescue. next idea, bro. So I had to run so many of those I had I had 520 toys for a week. Like, no,

29:35
it didn't skip class. Again. After that. I said, You know,

29:39
I shouldn't be here. Because the trouble is, when it's good times. Good times. That's kind

29:45
of something that I've noticed is oftentimes

29:50
the people that acquire a medium a happy amount of success in their life. They're usually pretty good kids. And then the people on either end of the spectrum, people that really fuck up. But also the people that really fucking kill it. They just kill it. They're professional basketball players are there, they're millionaires, whatever it is they want to do. I swear to God, nine times out of 10. They're a little fucking shits. when they were kids. They were fuck ups. And they were always getting in trouble. And they were always doing their own thing. And you can do that a little bit too much. And go down the wrong road and end up in Ruby. And it takes a Yeah, yeah, sometimes just get unlucky. But if you walk that path, just right. It's interesting. A lot of their kids get their shit together in this indescribable way, they just completely flipped so hard. And they channel that energy that they're putting into fucking up and they put it into something productive. You know

30:46
what it is? Why is because they went against the system.

30:52
So a lot of times the kid that is the disobedient kid and it's because they're questioning the system that we're being taught that we're being programmed. So that person is not only the school doesn't prepare you to be an employee. Mm hmm. So someone who's not good in school, that's why there's a there's a saying that goes on the entrepreneur world that the A students often work for the C students because that C student is not taking is doing enough to get by but they're not their mind is usually far past this, right? They used to think about their own business, they think about their app their program that wherever so they get

31:32
they get in trouble for being free thinkers, for going against the norm. There's a quote that I use when I'm dealing with my clients, you know, I'm the financial advising or whatever the case may be, I tell them is the majority of people in our country, are they wealthy? Or are they struggling? financially struggling? I say, if the majority is struggling financially, why do we do what the majority is doing? Don't correct fucking don't

31:55
go against the grain. And I mean, just think about what school really teaches you from the beginning. I mean, take four or five year old before they ever into school, I would argue that that four or five year old is the most alpha motherfucker on the planet. a four year old kid is more alpha than you and me and Barack Obama combined just no fluff no folks given they go out and they think you know what a fucking do that shit and they go and they fucking fail. They fail so hard and they fall in their ass they get back up and say well that was weird. Let me try again. They just keep fucking up until it works just over Roche. It's given at all do a four year old to go up to anyone. They want anyone they want to say you're fat, probably not polite. But they don't give a shit the literally to say what's on their mind all the time. Pure alpha energy, they get into school immediately when they get into school. You know what you're told and told to sit down? Shut up. If you're that kid who's going around and actually voicing his opinion every single fucking day is sit down, shut up and listen to me. And you are just told you our program do you put it yourself you're programmed to not be alpha to not voice your opinion. And to not do your own thing, or you get into trouble follow the system. So that's why often when you see and I'm I used to be a teacher as well

33:15
jack of all trades here. But I'm

33:16
I'm curious, how did you deal with that as a teacher because you are aware of this paradigm you are aware that the children in everyone needs a degree of freedom to express themselves. But also quite frankly, if you gave it to everyone, your class we fucking mess

33:33
balance. There was a balance and part of reason why the left of the teacher long. Yeah, well, for example, like when I first started teaching us, I wanted to work my way up. So I started like being a counselor after I got done playing basketball and everything. I was doing different things to find out what's my niche. I think that's one of the biggest problems as well is people don't try what they're interested in my, my whole mindset is anything I'm interested, any business venture, anything I'm interested in, I go try it. Like, I go work in it. Like, so. I was like, okay, you're not. Maybe I can be a teacher because I want to talk to the youth I want. This is after I got back from overseas. And I got to see the world from a different perspective. So I want to tell people about this. You know, I want to start talking to the youth. So I started with elementary kids dad in it now. That's not my shit. Now, now, too. So middle school kids, they did us learn how to say fuck middle school kids. I said, you know, can I cut anything that is difficult.

34:25
You should try it. Because

34:29
that means if you master that you put yourself on a whole nother plateau. Right. So I constantly heard how Middle School is the worst. Blah, blah, blah. Yeah, so I went bad things. I want to go to middle school. And not only that, going to school I went to mass is Liberty City. That is a first 48, one of the roughest brought enjoy pain, don't you? So it started with you in bed. Jesus Christ. Oh my god. Who? Who? Who told

34:55
he just loved the pain? Maybe I didn't say anything.

35:00
I told him I failed

35:02
co star which I get me heard over. She got the Cadillac.

35:07
She's painful.

35:09
But um. Yeah, so I wanted to go there and going there.

35:14
I didn't believe in lines like lies. lines like having to walk in the line. Oh, lines on Yeah, I didn't believe in it. So I'll be that teacher that guys go you know, other teachers would look around and and the principal say something me like Alex, why aren't you still have the damn lines? Oh, yeah. Oh, no, they still isn't desolate back where I was going? No, Mr. Smith, your kids need to be in line and like they walk in lines of prisons. They just let me just like

35:41
Alex but

35:42
it was and that was the part that I read the man right like so that's part of reason why I always taught for what was half a half a year because I was going against the like teaching wasn't teaching anymore You know, and that's why I want to do reading social studies so I could talk about the world issues and no, teach them teach them the importance of reading because people underestimate how important reading is right so I wanted to teach them that and then but I wasn't able to do that teaching wasn't teaching anymore all there was a standardized testing you know just having them

36:13
tell schools get their money bro, just

36:15
having to do standardized test. So I was like, Yo, I can't we get to know the kids. I can't get to talk to them. I came in so I was like, Okay, yeah, this is for me. Yeah, I'm

36:23
good. Did the kids like you during a second? Lovely fucking bad they love me. They love me. Um, yeah,

36:28
they they love me you know is it was a good time and it wasn't because of the kids why I left and um,

36:34
and that's why I wanted to do stuff that you know, focused on keys and everything but didn't want to be in that life you know mean so man that is such a fucking bummer because I'll bet there are other teachers out there just like you smart as fuck they know a thing or two in there ready to impart knowledge on to their kids almost in the same way that a father would impart knowledge onto his son or his daughter Hmm. And just the way we had that school system setup we can't let that happen

37:03
again. It's crazy it's crazy man so that's what you know that's why that's why I became a broker that's why I went to you know educate people about their finances start you know talk to the youth you know talk to the adults you know people don't say how credit works he we don't understand insurances so that's why I want to master that you know, and that's what I did and I will tell all your listeners or viewers if you're thinking about doing a career change I will say again to the financial industry reason why is because when the highest paid industries in the world as well as to think about you can't do anything Oh well in that side of the world without insurance

37:39
investments you can't do anything without that so you have to come through someone like me so that's why I got into that profession but the main reason that stayed there for so long and the reason why I'm here now is because residual income

37:52
and I mean passive income

37:53
No Is that correct residual income passive income is it's pretty much something pretty much like you having a property and just having to rent it out every you know every month or whatever the case may be that's passive because you're really not working to generate it thread residual income is being paid for stuff that you already okay so an example movie stars Oh every time you see that movie play or hear that song some time I asked Can we listen to this and say all right I'm gonna be a movie star it's a residual income they're going to get a check yeah they're gonna get you're gonna get a check every time you do that in my industry as policy I sold or class clowns I kept on the book I can't pay for the rest of your life so that's why one of my favorite things of selling was life insurance you know it's a huge need for but also most people keep those policies

38:41
live

38:42
state 3040 years depend on the policies and everything so I get paid every month No shit so it's not just right when they sign on no that's not how we get paid that's a good commission allow people know that about the industry. Especially like I said, life insurance is my favorite. I did everything financial industry, but life shows my favorite I give you example

39:04
outside you up for $50 life insurance policy to you. Oh my god, I just spent $50 Now I'm going to take that to whichever company I'm using the time and that's going to be times 12. So $50 times well, $600 now roughly depend on your country level you might get 60% so you might just say $400 from that the next day depend on the company or the next week is what you get from that one policy now after a year they stay on the books you get paid again

39:37
start getting paid every month to pay us a 40% commission

39:42
that's on the low end if someone but no usually 60% 60

39:46
mission that's usually some company starts you off that way. Um, I have companies that give me 110% and as well what

39:52
how

39:54
can I show it doesn't

39:55
make any sense where are they making their money seems

39:56
like it's all going into your pot you know they make their money off the life of the policy remember they're betting on the policy staying on the books so they're gonna get paid for 30, 2030 years right so they're okay with giving me this percentage for now you know hey okay good keep what I thought is the situation where every single time they renew the policy every year you will get that you get a small percent no no no no no no oh I'm sorry

40:17
I was here at 110% residual

40:19
Damn you know, to negotiate know, the residual hundred 10% is up front that for Okay, that makes sense to me. And then maybe, like, maybe I'll get 5% and you will, okay, going forward and those types of things. But I was imagining like 60% of Yeah, so

40:32
Sandy, I'm like, you bought you own the damn you own more than the entire life. Right?

40:36
At that point? I know not. Not like that. I want to come work for you. Yeah, right. So now imagine me doing that. And then also have an agency. So now I also have other agents working with me that just like a real estate broker, you know, you get a piece off of what the real estate agent does, right? So now I can override as well. So now even they have to have about three or four agents out in the field in Florida while I'm here. So they're still working. Oh, shit, like I said, coming out like so. I would tell people if they're looking for a change that industry is by far the best one. So let's say someone's listening to this. They say I'm looking for a career change. I don't know about finances. You know, what I really enjoy is a shit pottery. I want to do some damn pottery or, oh, what I really enjoy ballet. I want to become professional ballerina or something like that.

41:30
The idea being what they want to pursue. You can argue slim chance again, to make some money. What would you tell that person?

41:39
Well, first one to find out I'll ask questions, find out what their what their goal is, for their purpose. Good. Not everyone has the same goals. You know, my goal was, I knew, you know, being a minority and everything that I had to have a certain type of lifestyle so I can hopefully not be a statistic. So, you know, money and building wealth was my goal. You know, so other people in might not have the same goal. So I first we'll ask the question, what's their goal? And then after that, I would kind of say to them, you know, if they're telling me that they're looking at pottery for profit, or something like that, I was saying,

42:13
people are often told follow your passion,

42:16
right?

42:18
That's bullshit. Mm hmm. Don't follow your passion. Follow your eyes follow the market demands because if you want to do pottery, but what is in demand? Like, Bro, I don't care about your fucking pot thirsty. Right? So that's a bad business idea. You know? And that's the thing like a lot of people I'm gonna follow my passion. You know, it's I don't care if it's 100 degrees outside I'm gonna go still jackets. Because that's what I want to do. Yeah, I'm not bro. that it does not. It does. That is not it. So that's why I would say don't follow the path to follow the follow the market follow the trends? Well, I

42:51
think that's what confuses people in this even confuses me sometimes if I look down these two different paths in my life, and look down one path where I'm genuinely doing what I love, but let's say I'm making $40,000 a year, something like that. or excuse me, yeah, doing what I love making $40,000 a year I'm looking down another path where I'm doing something that maybe I don't necessarily hate it. You know, maybe I'm not slapping puppies for a living or something like that. But I'm not doing what I love. I'm just doing some bullshit job. Maybe I'm an accountant. Maybe I'm just doing some data entry, whatever. But hypothetically, I'm making a shitload of money, I'm just balling out. And maybe I don't even have to work necessarily that often.

43:34
Which one of those paths is going to give me the most happiness I will

43:37
tell you is establish what the end goal is. Because if I knew that I would be living in Thailand, and, you know, not going back to the States at all, I would have been a multimillionaire, because I knew I had a plan, you know, instead of me just working, build an agency just, you know, buying cars buying stupid stuff, I would have had a goal and had an escape plan knowing that Okay, you know what, I need to make sure I have these $500,000 in my account. Now, I have a goal to drive for. So now, so that hit that goal I'm out of here. So you first have to establish what you want, like, you know, what you want, what you want your future to be, you know, then from there kind of go backwards. Okay, what are the steps that I need to take to get to that goal and I will say that will be the best way to do it now,

44:23
so I'm stands it could I that I went through that a lot of times, because no one wants to be in the furniture industry norms to be doing my insurance and almost to do that shit. No, like, I'll be lying to you. If I say, Oh, yeah, I just want to do that. I love Intel. No, like, fucking upside. But

44:39
I just knew the market demand. I knew the baby boomers are retiring now the biggest population of Americans in history, they're retiring. So there was a market there's over 10,000 people turn 65 a day in the United States. Damn, there's a market for it. How many of them know they're doing none of them? Shit. So there's a big wealth transfer that needs to happen Where's over $40 trillion that needs to be transferred because how many 40 trillion that that needs to be moved so I didn't realize we had that much money Oh, okay. Yeah, that needs to be moved from the boomers they has time for them to allow them have to move it by seven give it to Alex Smith. Correct. So I wanted to be that middleman for now I'm just going to get a little piece you know for example when I take care of someone's retirement plan their IRA there for okay those type of things I get about seven 8% like when I transfer something so I will have a client let's just say a little amount one of my teachers they might have $100,000 with another company another All I had to do is move their hundred thousand to my company maybe give them some other bonuses do on a couple more dollars to that amount and I just got paid 8% of that oh my next paycheck no way so that's just one thing but this is one client once again so the financial services industry This is the most highest paid industry in the world if you talk about if you think about some of the richest people in the United States I'm not talking about the movie stars and air you know I make $20 million a year and you know I was talking about I'm talking about the stockbrokers and I'll talk about the hedge fund manager all my industry Tama billionaires make a billion dollars per year from my industry so people forget about this stuff. It's like guys why not looking taking a look at this industry you know, and I don't promote companies because just getting industry because you're going to find your you'll find your niche and be able to get into it that way. And then also you control your own paycheck You know, that's the biggest thing that people have a nine to five is not going to give you enough to leave, right you gotta give you enough to keep you coming back. So how are you a little drug dealer? Oh, there's this crack and we get okay because now we start building our lifestyles based on that income now so that now they have control of us now soon that incomes gone. Oh, my God, what I do what I do, now you're panicking. Like, that's why I have so guys by the balls. Correct. And I have control issues. Well, from what I hear, so I never went No. Want to control me. That's why I have so many licenses and certifications because if I'm not happy with you, I'm say fuck you quit that. Excuse me. quit that job that day and find another job that evening. Like, that's what I did so. But to answer your question, the forest, the pastor's concert, you just gotta think about what's the end goal, right? You know, if you know you, the company that's going to pay you a lot of money is gonna be you're gonna eventually own that company or on something similar. Maybe you stay on that path, you know, get that experience and everything. But now if you say, you know what,

47:33
I don't want to do that shit. Okay. Don't you know you can always change and that's the thing about doing what you love. That's the thing about this word love. Love is an emotion emotions change chemical, it changes like, so I wouldn't say you know, I wouldn't bet anything on love to be real cheap. So, and I went bathing on love because it changes. Yeah. So that's why I would say

47:57
just to go Think about your end goal first. And then that was determine which path you take. Well, with regards to the end goal. Here's another thing that can sometimes confused me when it comes to defining it. And that is this question of whether or not I should strive for balance in all of the main areas of my life. Should I strive for balance between my health, my wealth, the relationships I have with other people, yada, yada, yada? Or should I zone in and say, You know what, I want to be a goddamn millionaire. Because you got to admit, you know, if you can put all the people that I feel like under the hood, there's more balanced than we see. But all the people that are really killing all the Elon Musk's all the Jeff Bezos is it really looks like they're just going balls to the wall in one single area. And so it can be sometimes difficult to define that that picture of success it's easy to define it with with one particular area you're asked me what's the definition of success and wealth and shit don't have $3 million, whatever, whatever it is, you say you want but once you start painting the entire picture this cohesive plan of what your life looks like and then how those parts fit together and then how you want to potentially leave something away from let's say your wealth in order to invest more energy into your health or relationships

49:16
or what it is you actually want to love to do things can get a little bit more confusing

49:22
it can and that's something that I struggled with as well was just trying to find was trying to determine if I should do balance or do I go balls to the wall and you determine and

49:33
well you're a professional athlete so I feel like that kind of answers the question

49:36
no I'm not gonna I'm not gonna I had natural talent

49:40
come nice you seem a little balls to the wall at anyone who is a professional athlete that seems to I don't think people realize how much God damn work it takes to become a professional athlete you have to be so zoned in you did

49:51
you write you do but it wasn't because of me more so is I was one of those guys like a coach has to go tell me you know going the gym wasn't when those guys are you know, I'm talking to the bar I'm not trying to go to the gym so it was more so when I had coaches that made me do it it was like okay great and when I got to the professional level you didn't really have them on you as much so now all the party and everything I'm doing not taking care of my body now start leading to injuries that shouldn't have had you know my career have been cut off his shoulders it should have but because I wasn't as every injuries came from partying too hard just by you know, not you know, we talked about in Colombia For example, I want a championship there. By the way,

50:31
we play four games tonight. What we play four games and I excuse me for four days a week. Jesus gives you a nice

50:40
thing about a you hear when we play play four games a week. Okay. I was still a lot better. Yeah, I was out five nights a week. You know, so, you know, party and doing whatever the case may be. So, um, yeah, you got to, of course, you weren't met 18 where, you know, I've done enough I wasn't bad. I've been there done. But it's a Carter Hannah as well. Sounds good times. But, um, no, it was I'm not take care of my body. You know, I was playing underweight, you know, like my plane. We right now you've seen them to at I was playing at Columbia and stuff. I'll play it to 10. Hey, I have any player power for those mobile. Like, what the hell gets you into the 2020s? It was it should, right? I wasn't Take care. Bye bye. So it just led to a lot of injuries that shouldn't have, you know, tear my rotator cup and tearing my Achilles and stuff like that. Not stretching properly. So those type of things. So that's why I say far as the laser focus. never really had. You know, I was one of those people. And

51:40
it's weird. You say that? Because when I speak to you, now, you seem like you have it more than 99% of people that I talked to you now. so damn focus now. Okay.

51:50
That was from the business world. It wasn't from basketball. You know, basketball was just something I just took for granted. Like, I'm okay. Yeah, I'm playing ball and they get money. Like, and I wasn't making millions, you know, I want to, I will go for like, you know, anywhere from 10 to $20,000 a month. Do don't depend on the country and everything. But yeah, so, but, but yeah, I wasn't making millions and stuff yet. But, you know, ended that early, but it was the business world

52:14
that changed me. You know, mentorship, people underestimate how important mentorship is. If anyone out there doesn't matter the age of the person find a mentor find someone whose life style that you admire and follow them because success leaves clues it's just up to you to pick up on that clue. So

52:35
how do you find a badass mentor? How do

52:38
you find a mentor who nessa some people, some people have different approaches. Some people would go actually go to a person and tell them hey, you know, I want to be you're meant to, you know,

52:49
massage that's building your own whatever, you need a couple of mentors that I established it was because I actually went to them, I went up to them and told them you know, you know, I admire you, I want what you have and what can I do and and most people are cool about it like you know what, yeah, sure.

53:05
Like so I'll show you everything what most people are a lot more humble than people realize. You know, you might you might see the the Grant Cardone or the grant in the way,

53:15
and Gary Vee has one yellow stickies on another level and away is he's fucking Grant Cardone. Come on. I mean, maybe not gonna get grant. But most people are incredibly successful. They're human. They're human, just like you and me. And they remember what it was like to crawl their way up. And if they see someone with hustle and enthusiasm, someone who isn't fucking around and it's, it's their attitudes, literally, man, you tell me what to do. I'm going to soak that shit up, like an entrepreneurial little sponge and do everything you say people admire that people admire that. And they feel honored by that. And if you can do that, while delivering value to them. And I think that might be the hardest part of

53:52
it is, but like I said, a lot of times, people at that level love to mentor people, like you said, people are just like, oh my god, am I going to talk to you know, they actually admire you just coming up and talking to them. Because that took a lot of confidence just to do that. And that's another thing in order to find a mentor where you going, you know, are you going to networking events, you know, or are you just going to a club every night you know, and more people need to start talking to people right? You know, I didn't have the success I was I had just because of Oh, you know, I was just the best in the world that you know, I know everything about finance. No, I just talked to people and for some reason people like to come talk to a 60 black guy

54:31
you're also a charismatic you're

54:32
fun to talk to your funny thank you make you laugh I dabble a little bit there but no it's it was just a simple fact of talking to people know getting to know people and just introducing yourself people are afraid like they need to get over that fear so one of the things that I try to do in my life is the biggest thing that people are fear I have are afraid of or they find that difficult I tried to do it you know I guess it's a competitive spirits like you know one of the number one fears of most people is public speaking

55:05
actually it is the number one fear above with debt Remember to

55:09
public speak Do you know how I made it through grad school was about speaking no well pretty much yes they always doing your MBA like with like a waste my money but yeah

55:23
waste my money 2018 $50,000

55:25
anybody been the whole finish it but I'm in the in my MBA course because a lot of companies are trying to go to this team philosophy group so we have a lot of group projects um, do you know how I got away from not doing papers you presented that I will be the presenter and it will be so when you know as we do all the research will do this will do that I'm sending like and they're like that's all you have to present I'm like guys I forget should be doing more here. This is not it's not

55:51
fair that most they like fun getting up there shooting the shit with the audience. That's great. I love that. Yo. They're terrified.

55:59
terrified. So that's really hard to grasp. Cool. Just Oh, like I do a paper a do shit like, Okay, all right. I'll present the Hell yeah. So I want because I know that I'm big on statistics and everything I wanted to try to do

56:14
try to learn how to conquer that you know how to conquer. Dispose. Speaking of you know, public speaking is number one. But another thing I've noticed that you are also good at is just going up in saying hi to people just introducing yourself to people that huge

56:29
Did you just come out of your mother's womb just ready to chat people up or is it something had to cultivate?

56:36
I was it was something that was I naturally had it was developed in my early age do TV. I will say I joke with her all the time because I was one of those kids.

56:48
I was in I was born the Bahamas. So I didn't come to any move to Miami until I was about four or five years old. And my father was in the Marines in the Bahamas. So he couldn't come over till he's about eight. Tell us about eight, nine years. So. So it's just me a mom for a few years. And mom is a nurse or cancel TV range me and so I started watching a lot of TV and start, you know, The Fresh Prince, you know, Archie Bunker. You know, Mama's Family, those TV shows out but you know, married with children, those people and I start went to be like these people like, wow, they're just outspoken. They're just saying whatever they want to say. So now growing up, I'm just okay. Well, I'll go to school at home. I'll be the quietest person in the world. I go to school. I'm the class clown. I'm having fun. And I'll get in trouble. Mom was like, What the hell? Whoa, whoa, whoa, he got him in trouble. But that was mostly I would say because of TV and stuff. But now as I got older, I started realizing that when I start working with different firms, and they started teaching me a lot of things I did naturally I was like, holy shit,

57:52
I do that oh, wow.

57:55
So then I start so I started realizing that it was a skill that I had developed over time you know, to different experiences in my environments that allowed me to just speak freely and that really cares he

58:04
had a combination of naturally having the ability and also you know putting it to the grindstone when needed what would you recommend to someone who just is not good at that when they go to the club or a networking event read the same shit reading really that's what makes you better at talking to people reading

58:22
you can learn everything and research does it Napoleon Hill Think and Grow Rich you talking about um, but specifically with

58:32
regards to talking to people and getting over your anxiety because with you saying that to me that I would compare that to saying how to get better basketball reading, it seems like talking to people is a very, very active skill,

58:45
right? What I was going to say is reading would um, it puts you in a state of mind to, to actually go out and do it as well as it gives you tips and suggestions on what to do and what to say how to conduct yourself in a match that would give you more confidence and allow you to go speak to someone because now you know what, Oh, you know what, I'm you know, Napoleon Hill said that if I give them a compliment, you know, that should break the ice So, let me go Do you know i mean so now I know that it then this guy or you know, I mean so yummy. So now you just have you have that confidence now because you feel like you know, you know just like you mentioned playing basketball Yes. Like people who play NBA to okay and those type of thing those are basketball simulation games so yes, you can actually learn things from playing those games you know you can learn plays you can learn those type of things you can learn different moves and go out and practice it on the court because you saw it so that's what I meant when I said reading you learn get some guidelines some steps now you have more confidence now you're going out and talking to anybody

59:50
what are your favorite books in that particular field and developing confidence and developing your ability to network people use magic and talk to people My

59:57
favorite is by Steve CBOE see boulder I was getting confused DC bow is called 170 777

1:00:08
mindset of the wealthy hundred sensitively I've got exact name but something along that line and it gives you pretty much 177 different ways that the wealthy think versus the the average person because you

1:00:24
want to go there. Yeah, I saw the audience what you got

1:00:27
because you got to think about it is if you're not reading, where are you getting your motivation from where you find in these mentors? You know, Grant Cardone can be your mentor. He does not know that. Yeah, but you can go read his work and watch his videos and those type of things. Because now you're I'm actually I was going to Thailand. Well, yeah. But But no. So you can actually learn those things that he's teaching you from his books and those type of things as well.

1:00:54
It sounds like that book is more about wealth. And it is about charisma, communist buildings. There's a lot of that in there. But as they come to

1:01:01
correct it come. Yeah, you can't. You know, Donald Trump doesn't get to where he gets to just be just as well. Donald Trump literally just gained his way to the presidency. charisma. no qualifications, just

1:01:16
spit game. Just spit game the entire fucking time. It's like some degenerate dude. With no fucking job, no ambitions? No, nothing, no books. He just goes to the club. And he's just a smooth talker all the way. Yes. That's what Trump did. All the way to the most powerful position in the goddamn world. Yeah.

1:01:33
And that's what that's what I took from it. And so I couldn't be upset about I'm not gonna Trump this and that I took from it. I said, you know, cuz I always try to look for the positive and things I said, I sat back and I told her, excuse me, I was like, You know what, although Trump one, it's not a bad thing in like, Whoa, why would you say that? Because it shows that

1:01:58
entrepreneur get to wherever they want, you're just having to be a little charismatic, you know, that's it. You could do whatever the hell you

1:02:05
know, don't, don't come up to me and tell me you can't do something, motherfucker. Donald Trump, that he came the President of the United States of America at the peak of its power, you can do anything. And that's exactly my mindset. You know,

1:02:19
my, my, my mind has always been that if there's billionaires out there, why not? Me? Yep. I what makes what makes him so much better than me like someone has done it, then you can as well nobody's cut from a different cloth. Correct. So now suddenly have more hurdles than others. But it can still be done, especially in this day. And I mean, there are billionaires who have literally immigrated here with $1 in their pocket. They know they're there are people that were homeless, and they have built up AWS billion dollar Empire, correct it so that's why even as an advisor,

1:02:44
I was a little bit more, let's see, what's the best way of saying it. We had this philosophy, especially when I did a lot of life insurance, we had this we call put them in the coffin.

1:02:56
That means that I will say stuff to you to make you feel that, you know, that def like so.

1:03:05
And that's what, you know, that's what we did to make people. Um, yeah, fear, you know, so, we'll sell them on that simple fact. Like, we'll put them actually in the coffee like, Oh, my God, what? You're having a defeat tomorrow, you know, like she is. So I had a habit of just saying stuff like that. But once again, I'm going off topic again. He got it. Yeah. Give me back. Yeah, I like

1:03:25
it when you go off topic, Alex. Yes. happy thoughts are rattling around in there. Oh, yeah. I'm a thinker in the reader manage. So yeah,

1:03:32
so there's a lot of things going on in there. So you can't throw me off. But like I was saying before, with Trump, the whole thing that took out of it is that as an entrepreneur, you can do anything, anything that and definitely and that's what he proved to me. So I use that as my motivation. So man,

1:03:46
I am a little bit curious, being a professional basketball player that comes with an element of celebrity, and that also comes with probably getting a lot of girls and things like

1:03:57
that.

1:03:59
How did that change your mindset when it came to relationships? And women when you literally were probably paralyzed by choice?

1:04:09
Oh, how did it

1:04:11
let's see how awesome if you compare if you compare 18 year old Alex to just got done tearing your Achilles heel just got done. chillin and playing basketball and talking to other girls in Colombia? Mm hmm. What was the main shift in your mindset when it came to women? Oh, the main shift. Was there not just coming after me anymore? Like,

1:04:30
that was the main thing when we talk about it. Yeah, correct. It was like before was like, they're just coming after me. And it's just like, Okay, great. You know how to do any work. So now when I became you know, pretty much a regular person again, it was like, Wait, hold on, I have to go pursue them. Talk to

1:04:45
you. Are you kidding me? What? Do you know who I am? But to login? Alex Smith. You to me? Oh, Google. I would. Yeah. So.

1:04:50
So that was the adjustment part of my the ego is still up here. The competence is still here. That's not going anywhere. But it was just like, the response wasn't the same anymore, especially in Miami. You know, everybody's it's fucking celebrity. And she likes that's for damn sure. For real. So it's like, Oh, God. So it wasn't the same. Getting used to not being in the spotlight. You know, in that way, was a hard part was definitely a hard adjustment for me. But that's once again, why I missed the lifestyle. So that's why I want to get into somewhere where I can control my income and still make that that money. So I still, you know, still pretty much had the lifestyle. It just wasn't the fame, you know, or no, just being, you know, the basketball player because I had to, you know, right now, you see me, um, this is my rib being rebellious in Thailand. Mm hmm. You know, like, I wanted to do something different. Because the past couple years, you know, I had to stimulate and, you know, change my speech, cut my hair, wear a suit and tie every day. So now, it's like, wow, free. Let me grow my hair out. You know what? You haven't shaved your pubes and weeks

1:05:58
anyway, so. So, yeah,

1:06:01
so it was like, you know, being a free now is like, it's cool as hell, dude. Oh, well, it's just something that I've noticed. And to be fair, you are very, very good at people in general. But I've noticed that you're just very, very good at talking to women and talking about web and just talking about relationships in your opinion, because I clearly you took a bit of a unique path to get there. You regarding a professional basketball player. So you've had it in your head from young age, you know, the fucking alex smith your other prize, but what would you say? What would your number one piece of advice be for men who want to improve their skills with women

1:06:37
want to improve their skills with women? Okay, I would say

1:06:42
number one skill set, hands down this communication, okay, that's the number one thing in a relationship. And to me and someone that's number one, you have to improve your communication, communication skills. So that what you mean by that, because, I mean, again, over getting over that fear of speaking to someone also, just pretty much getting over that fear of just talking someone, you know, even might, that all encompasses the public speaking as well, you know, because I've been, I've, when I go out my friends, I'm always the guy that approaches the group, right? You know, it'll be a group of five women, you know, I'll go do your thing. Go get us in there. Alex. Correct. So, now, if I had a fear of public speaking, I couldn't go to a crowd of Wi Fi women and say, Hey, ladies, how are you? You know, my name is Alex. I keep it simple. You know, I try to keep it I play even tone cool. I just want to get know you guys. And that's usually my approach. But I will say the communications working on the communication skill, reading some of those books,

1:07:42
sales and women just go hand in everything in life we do is sales, but people were conditioned, once again, that programming, they don't want us to be involved in sales, because then they lose their employees if we make too much money. Yep. So they always try to put this negative connotation on sales. But everything we do in life is sales. So if you're having a problem with talking to women are getting women you're not a good salesman, bro.

1:08:07
You're selling yourself. That's a shitty job.

1:08:09
You're doing a shitty job. So you need to take it back. And like I said, I will retails books because sales is all psychology. It teaches you what the other person is thinking. It teaches you to watch their body movement. It teaches you things to x trigger questions to get the response that you want. So I will use these philosophies. Yeah. When I spoke to women, this is post basketball, you know best? Well, just like a yo. Hey, I play basketball. Yo, what's up, man? I really yeah, that's me. It was very as me so I have to use it. But especially afterwards now, because the good thing about me is that I didn't grow up as a basketball player. You know, ugly duckling. So I had to have a personality.

1:08:46
Where do your ugly duckling go?

1:08:47
Oh, shit is a pretty now What happened? just grow some she'll share. Can you imagine coming into high school five, eight long ass arms from the time I was nine to 16 my shoe size? What will my age like? Funny. So you could tell I was gonna pray that I was gonna grow. Yeah, because I was funny looking as hell. Like, even the when I even started playing basketball. I was like 11 years old. My dad shooting outside and the ball hits off the the room and goes down the street. I'm riding my bike.

1:09:18
I write down he's asked to get the ball for me. I write down Street to pick up the ball. I reached over a while. I'm on the bike and pick it up. Grab the ball with one hand and thought that to my dad said whoa, what the fuck. But it's the whole come here. Do it again. Do it again. He said. Take it out my hand. So okay. He's like a chess. I'll just buy we go play some basketball. Because my definitely six one. Yeah. You know, six, eight. My, definitely six one. So it was like salad potential. So he was like, yo, get your ass off. And you're gonna go play some ball. But, um, but yeah. So far as I'm going with this again. Oh, yeah.

1:09:54
Just just with regards to improving your skills with women. And I think you actually nailed it earlier when you said you just come up and just keep it simple and say hi. Because, man. Keep it simple, stupid. I see. So many guys make it so much more complicated than it has to be. What kind of man does the woman went? Oh, should he be confident and cool. And cocky and sexy? And all this man. All a girl wants two things. Two things. I'll sum it up in two words. friendly and cool. Let's be friendly. And cool, man. Well, you might get friends. Also. You can't be too friendly. Don't be too friendly. But just be a friendly. Cool, guys. Hey, what's

1:10:24
up is so

1:10:25
simple. It really is. It really is simple. Don't be doing all these verbal backflips and shit. And at least not until a couple minutes in man. Um, I will say that part. Just being yourself. You know, and also mean by that because that's advice that's thrown around a lot. And when I first got told, you know, because every fucking 14 year old goes through this where they Google how to get girls. And the first thing that comes up as a god in wiki. How comment trees, just be yourself. Be 14 saying, fuck man. Was that even mean? Be yourself? How am I not going to be myself? So what do you mean? Okay?

1:10:58
If you don't know yourself, that's part of reason why you shouldn't be in a relationship. Because that's why a lot of people get into relationships. And they get lost because they don't know themselves. So you have to, when I say be yourself, that means you have to be aware of the things that you like, the things that you're good at, you know, what's your strengths, your weaknesses, be aware of who you are. So now you know what you're going for, you know, if you know someone that you compute an engineer and this and that, and you know, you want someone in that field or you want someone with an entrepreneurial mindset, then you want to make sure that you know, that's about that's about you want that for yourself. So now you go find out someone in that arena. Now, you can be yourself. You can talk about computer science stuff now. So now you're not faking it. Now, you're not gonna go talk to some girl who's Oh my god, I'm trying to get to the Web. Yeah, now you're going to go to her and she, I don't know anything about basketball. Now, you're gonna spend all your time trying to research that

1:11:53
takes any entertainment Alex, man, tell me some cool shit to say about basketball. Correct?

1:11:56
Now you're not being yourself. Whereas if you had just made a goal you know exactly what type of woman you're looking for. Now, you're able to say Okay, you know what,

1:12:05
you meet someone you had a conversation with them, you know what great she's in my arena. Now. I could just really be myself you know, I mean, I could just talk about this should I want to talk about I want to talk about I was one of things when I first spoke to her I'm talking about vampires and shit I'm talking about welfare I'm talking about all this shit then I'm interested in now. So I could figure out from you now if I should really be myself or do you like me? You know, I mean, or do I hide? Or do I pretend to be someone else? So I would just say figure out who you are first then you know what you're looking for. That's

1:12:35
one things a lot of guys fuck up is you know I've had guys come and asked me advice How do I get higher quality women into my life or some like that and I'll go ask them and I think this is a very reasonable question and it's probably a question they should have expect a little bit more well it's like well what do you mean by higher quality What are you looking for in a girl let me ask you this what is your ideal girl and it's all I watched their brains short circuit before my very eyes because apart from from tits and ass and some soft skin they haven't actually thought about it they've put no thought into it whatsoever and day to start throwing on generic adjectives that mean absolutely nothing and I tell them look man you you have to sit around people would even take that long just set aside an hour set aside an hour make a damn list of unique original qualities that you're looking for in a girl Don't I mean maybe put intelligence on there but sense of humor on there if you if that's what you really want. But don't just put that generic bullshit on try to make it more specific and then actually look for that person when you go up for person have that mental checklist in your head and say, Oh, sorry, you don't have number three?

1:13:42
Yeah, so the right and that's why I told you that when I first met you at your age to already know that you know, that's half the battle read books, motherfucker. You talked about the fuckin Alec Smith's I appreciate that. Yeah well that's it you know you know you got your experience

1:13:57
do other ways but at your age a lot of I still don't figure that out you know and this is a recent revelation man I mean I shit for the first four or five years and my sexual careers tits and ass man bro that's all

1:14:09
you want. It's like that for most guys 2030 years like so know who I said you're very you found it very early you know and that's one thing that

1:14:18
that's one thing

1:14:20
though that I want to do is I want to study women always want to stay women like I mentioned to you before is the number one reason for why we do what we do is to find a significant other

1:14:34
and the reason why I always tell my parents I just want to mass man reason

1:14:38
why I wanted to be rich The reason why I wanted to be well the reason why I want this car The reason why I wanted to be a professional athlete is to attract the opposite sag or say whatever you want. Whatever floats your boat, but

1:14:50
people forget that if that's your goal. Why don't you learning how to watch you training or practicing on how to get civically like read books? You know, watch their movies you know their secret confession here. I love ROM coms. Oh yes. My shit. No books like an athlete and it for me comedy. You know, fucking the Ashton Kutcher the world about I love these guys are Ryan Reynolds. I love Broncos. So but while I'm watching these things, I'm also such studying You know, I'm looking at what they do in that and I do everything I want. I try to dissect it and take things I could take from it. You know, like some

1:15:28
of those ROM coms can be dangerous though, because some of those ROM coms will teach you what you need to do in order to get your girl is a chase after her in the airport with flowers and then get you know those like stare things that they do for the plane and then chase after the plan at the stair thing and then like waiver down and then steal her from that asshole range. Good looking, dude, if you do that, in real life, that girl is gonna think you're fucking insane. And guaranteed. You're going to jail. Guaranteed. You're gonna make the most desperate motherfucker in the world. So that there are some things that or or it might work out for you. And next thing you know, start driving the stairs. Hey,

1:16:02
my walls he moved, bro. It's a ballsy move. Hey, but do you think that woman's not gonna say you know what, he really cares about me. He really went he almost got locked up for me. Well,

1:16:10
that's actually a grain of truth that you could take away from it is persevere, persevere and actually go for it. But it can teach you some some things that don't necessarily help you with women. You know this whole idea of oh you you want that girl to go to prom with you go up to her and you know give her flowers make a huge display in front of everyone

1:16:33
maybe maybe once again it comes down to research marketing you can do enough recon to know if that girl would like that type of thing you can if you really want to you can kind of get to know her now now this is just a friendly you know this is not you know any okay I'm just trying to just get to know her now you might find out that she does like this type of things. You know, she might tell you I'm like I love these rom com communication. Oh yeah, left ROM coms, that you'd be like,

1:17:00
what's wrong? Well, here's what I'd say about that. I would say that the vast majority of women do love the ROM coms and they actually do love the idea of the guy coming with the flowers and making huge display but but in their head when they play out this scene of the dude rolling up the flowers and stealing or offer plane it's not you who's doing it. It's fucking Ryan Reynolds. Okay, that's the difference it's an incredibly high value man that all women want to fuck. But who has chosen you know what I don't want those 3.5 other billion women I want you that's what makes the panties hit the floor so fast it makes a whole lot China bro it's interesting the way that happens particularly with the multiple sexual partners thing I have found you know you can take one girl and with one guy should be totally okay with the idea of multiple partners. Oh yeah, the guy Absolutely not. And what it boils down to very, very simply and it does also boil down to things like status and money and what you're doing but what I found is just boils down to how you frame it really and if on the first date first date you say look baby I think absolutely fantastic. You're great. I really really love her energy. And when I'm with you, I'm only thinking about you and I mean that's that but you need to know I'm at a point in my life right now. I'm seeing multiple people and I hope that you're okay with that. And I just want to be honest with you and you have my word I will always be honest with you. And so in the interest of honesty I'm letting you know I'm seeing other people from day one if you say it like that man nine out of 10 girls just chit chit y'all

1:18:32
got me just now like yes i here is my cupboard but no that's definitely what I do. That's what I do I keep it I keep it simple keep it simple and be honest with them like you're not doing and women nowadays they love the honesty they love like listen so I'm just looking at you for a sec listen I'm

1:18:51
not everyone's doing it and they know they're doing it too. That's the thing is they don't get the Girl Scout because the girls probably having multiple partners to the guy is like that's how it's going. If you're dating a high girl at least we're dating a hot high value girl chances are she's doing it as well. But you know what I've noticed I can give you that exact same speech that exact same speech and if I wait just a hair too long. Maybe I wait till date number four. Okay. Number five gob for bid. I wait a couple weeks or months you're fucked. Because even though you didn't lie to her, even though you didn't say a single word to her about being monogamous with her saying nothing allows her to mentally fill the void and if she has mentally filled the void with we are monogamous then when you come to her and even though you're addressing the topic for the first time she's already mentally made up her mind on what she means to you and therefore you are lying to her and so she's right because to be fair to her credit the the framework that 90% of people operate under is oh we're going to see each other we're going to be a you know just to each other is going to be monogamous so it's only fair for her to assume that so that's why you have to be honest from the get

1:19:59
go he said you have to ask more questions I'm more real questions. You know, like not not the bullshit um, you know them see Oh, how many brothers and sisters you have? And you know, just to make small till as real questions you know, let's talk about let's talk about the things that we're not supposed to talk about. Let's talk about religion about aliens yeah yeah let's talk about that type of shit Let me hear you know what's your worldview is on different things and I ask these tough questions right away like now what's your religious belief because I'm not you know I'm not that guy. So let's get this on table now let's figure this out you know not x those type of questions it may seem crazy but I need to make sure I could be myself

1:20:39
around this person I get a sick perverse joy and seeing the look on people's faces when you just start actually getting real with them especially when you just do it a little bit too quickly not too quickly but just a little bit too quickly I do it all the time you know just on the first day and just yeah yeah yeah it's so what do you look for in the people in your life shit in

1:20:59
what I wasn't ready for that I tried I tried to like I said I tried to time is valuable and I can never get this time back and also more valuable it is correct. So it's like where are we doing here? let me figure out let me get like for example, I tell all the bad about me on the first day Hey, here's what you can expect. Here's my path here's what I'm coming from. But here's how I change you know so I do that all the time put out they use I used to be somewhat of a man or blah blah blah

1:21:29
what alex jones show your cousin you were up in those sugar walls, good times. Good times.

1:21:36
I have some fun. So it was like so I let her know all of this you know, like offer now judge me if you want you know, if you don't wanna see me anymore. And here's what I'm looking for. It's kind of a heck of a mission statement. Yeah, I operate when I was relationship operate like a business because it is business to me is sales. It is because think about all the work you have to do to have a successful business. Same as a relationship. The problem is that people quit too early people don't have the patience to they made it so easy to just cop out, you know, so people are just being cowards and policies about their relationship. And, oh, I'm not gonna I want to. I'm Chino. him I'm leaving him because he did this so he did that. But Is he aware that that you're mad about communicating, try to tell him this before you just jump in the cheating so I think it's gotten a lot easier especially in the enemy that bad that you can cheat It's bad enough to break up Come on, come on now. So now so as they I think that's what people give up way too easy on the relationships you know, they don't have enough patience or don't want to once again step their skills up their speaking skills up and they'll just keep quiet until it all builds up. And then now they do they lash out they do something whereas this is a real simple problem. Where you can just Hey, you know, how do you know what I would like that we tried doing this, you know, I would like if, you know, we, you know, you got to things like we you know,

1:23:01
you got to avoid saying words like you. And this is where those techniques that you already know. And this is you got to stop saying you because instantly as soon as you say you to someone they're on defense Oh shit, what I do. Now, let me put my guards up. So you have to take away us start, we or I you know, start putting it on yourself. You know one interesting kind of like leadership sales persuasive skill that I learned from a guy I love listening to called Jocko willing is when another person has a problem, even if it's something that is 100% their fault and you're talking about that and you want them to change that problem. You as the person who's talking to them take ownership of that problem, even though it might have absolutely nothing to do with you. If you're seeing a girl and in bed. She just starts tugging on your balls as hard as she possibly can. Man that that's she shouldn't be doing that. That's 100% or problem. But you don't go and say Hey, why are you talking on my balls? You say Listen, I don't like it that way. I feel that I Alex Smith, I feel that I CMC I've failed because I think I failed to communicate what I prefer in the bedroom. So from now on, I want to try to be better. And I want to try to communicate better with you about what I want in someone. Someone when someone comes at you like that compared to Yeah, why are you talking about my balls, you're gonna be so much more receptive, you know,

1:24:35
you're right. And that's exactly what it is. That defuses the whole situation. And people don't notice that but things I've seen like say you notice stuff at an early age even at your age I didn't I knew these things but I didn't know these things like it was just like oh natural type of shit but you're absolutely right like they have to do that you have to let you have to communicate but in a way that is not going to make them feel ashamed of themselves or feel like they're gonna be embarrassed now Now she not gonna go down and play the ball so much he just told her yo you fucking suck you know you

1:25:08
know

1:25:09
I don't know who taught you how to milk a cow or what to do I know but this is not you know I mean my balls calm Danielle and I could say this too as well you know cuz I'm not I'm never gonna see out here See, I'm just perfect guy this and that. But my initial response is usually the worst get off a ball like correct my initial so sometimes I need to sit back and put my okay my remember communication skill but my initial response so sometimes you gotta just let me sit down and think for a second so I could formulate What the fuck is going on my initial response What the fuck you doing down there

1:25:43
like you know

1:25:45
whereas if I'm in the right mind says okay okay sweet sweet sweet that's great in the hall

1:25:51
guys Dickens responses hold on any to go think for a second you are doing something horribly wrong

1:25:58
so no but sometimes it does take practice it and then once again people keep forget these things take practice you're not gonna just instantly become good at communication you're not this things take practice and years of time and even when I started changing my speech the way I talk it was um. It took time and my mentor told me it was gonna happen you know he used to tell me know Alex watch newscasters you know watch brock obama watch these people speak and start emulating them start recording yourself start looking in the mirror start talking you know just start hearing yourself you know hearing your tones and everything and in this he knows you're going to change right yeah so and it's just me like you know so what's going on talk about you know my name no that's how big they would it is no say whatsoever that that that was the old me you share with that so you know don't matter that you would that mount Do you know that was the oh me

1:26:48
oh, you want to hear my my old tender bio. Roses are red, violets are blue all I want to know is what that mouth do

1:26:58
bars right hey episode but

1:27:03
but

1:27:06
at the time I started my Hold on What am I talking so proper and yeah,

1:27:12
so how did you change that? Was it literally just looking at people because I'm actually going through the same thing? Oh yeah. I listened to some of my early podcast you know what the problem was?

1:27:21
I got the word like holy shit some of my early podcast they make me want to throw up with with with how often us saying it's like you know, like Alex like how like art I sound like a fucking valley girl. It was ridiculous. I still do I still say it way too often.

1:27:40
One thing that I learned when I was going through this transition is pauses power you know learning to speak with that pause so they can anticipate you know that the anxiousness or what's the next word and adrenaline so I'm working on still improving that more so but is also the light problem I started taking it away by doing working on with now so use words like that That sounds that give you time to Rico I kind of get them together that's Yeah sure. budding now

1:28:12
you're not saying like you can just replace like with now at least in most cases correct because they some places where you start quoting someone you say Alex was like blah blah blah but for the most part things took place with now so

1:28:24
like I said why you gather yourself you know like what you know now getting so that was one of the one things I used to live with the lie that just

1:28:33
makes me want to give you a promotion just oh my goodness

1:28:37
yeah let's give you some time to gather what you're going to say in the good to go that's smart

1:28:42
I'm gonna steal that so in your opinion what is the number one key to a successful relationship

1:28:49
oh shit

1:28:51
number one key is I'm always going to go back to communication yeah All I have to go back to communication because

1:28:58
I'm gonna say finances

1:28:59
and number one is communication number key to maintain a relationship

1:29:07
I will say it's still gotta be number one is communication finances is definitely one a we wouldn't be or it's up or or two

1:29:17
that's talking to you about that earlier and we were talking about the most important things relationship and usually it's Oh trust Oh communication know this and you're like man communication was like okay I get that and then finances I was like what career finances so why is that why are finances so important in a relationship good question I love talking about financed by the way is it was crazy combine ass and money in the same sentence you're good to go talk about expertise

1:29:40
last time I did I lost all my basketball

1:29:44
so

1:29:46
glad you said that. Um.

1:29:49
I don't believe there's no romance without find it.

1:29:53
I believe that no one should go get into a relationship until they're both mentally and financially ready relationship. When I say financially ready, I'm gonna talk about being a millionaire. And so I was talking about you know, you have your job you have your transportation or where the case may be, you have decent credit you have, you know, you have plans, you're going somewhere financially.

1:30:16
because too many times, and over 50% of divorces happen because of financial reasons. So that's why I say it's up there really correct.

1:30:24
could now be percent of marriage ends in the worst 50% of those because of money

1:30:28
to 25% of marriage 53% at the exact number that ended divorce by the way.

1:30:33
So just want to buy some life insurance

1:30:37
finance is finances cause additional drama. And this is kind of goes back to what we're just talking about 50 Shades of Grey, everyone wants to be comfortable and have that money and live that lifestyle. Now when you don't have the finances, it affects the relationship very dresses because a man you know, we've been taught the condition that we're supposed to be, the breadwinners will be taken care of everything. And when you can't do that, that even though you don't know that builds up some type of animosity that is blocking you from really enjoying this person. You know,

1:31:08
like that feeling that you should be supporting or right or, or being able to do more. And what about the opposite way in the sense that you are supporting them can't build up animosity or resentment, rather,

1:31:18
that was our sponging. That's why I said communication first. That's why I moved to the communications first because we can't have these finance talk without being able to communicate first, you know, you have to be able to voice that, okay, I feel like I'm paying too much for this or this and that, or in that first date. Hey, here's how I like to operate. When it comes to finances. You know,

1:31:38
I'm cool. We'll take care of Didn't you want to take care of, you know, I want to do 5050, you know, I mean, so, once again, so, do you believe in equality across the finances? Oh, hell yeah.

1:31:45
I'm big on

1:31:48
I'm very, I'm kind of a feminist. You know,

1:31:50
I'm very pro women, everything. It's funny because, you know, I know a lot of feminists that they want equal pay, but shit when the check comes. Hmm.

1:31:57
I would just you knew exactly where I was going. I'll set that up.

1:32:00
I'll say I need to do it. Yeah, correct.

1:32:02
But that's exactly what I was going with. That is when I talk to other feminist you can't pick and choose when you want. equality.

1:32:10
Yeah, I'll leave you out of the draft. But other than that, come on. Correct. Like,

1:32:13
you can't pick and choose what you want. equality. Like that's not fair. Really equal or not correct. Like, oh, I want to be treated equal. I want to be doing this. I want to be that baby. Um, excuse me, you know, go pay for this. Oh, what the fuck just happened? Yeah. What happened? Like,

1:32:29
are we going back to the 50s? Because I'll pay for it. And then I guess you can clean my room. Like what? How? We're gonna make this even. You know exactly my point, man, you know, it's a weird one alimony?

1:32:39
Yeah, so that's a tough one. Bro. Have you heard about alimony in Canada? I just learned about it. Alright, check this one out. So the way that they do alimony in Canada, it is not based. So alimony is fucked from the beginning. It's basically based on the premise that you know, you marry well, and because she was married to you. She's no longer capable of working ever again. So you have to support her if I'm going to sum it up poorly. So, you know, in in most states, or most states in America do alimony. The alimony is based on your current income. So if you Alex Smith, you make $50,000 a year whatever. Then let's say oh, you gotta give her 20% of your income. You gotta give me $10,000 a year, whatever it is. In Canada the alimony is based on the highest income that you had at any point during your man Oh my god. So there's actually this case i was i was listening to this on a podcast of the day of this comedian in Canada Wow. He was married for about six months to a year he had his own sitcom so for that one year I think he pulled in like a million dollars or something like that he he made amazing money that year and then for the other nine or 10 years of their marriage he was a fucking stand up comedian he made scraps he made 30,000 dollars a year on ended up getting divorced they based as alimony on the highest income that he had it was so high that it was more money than he was making period

1:34:13
ridiculousness bro. savagery it makes you not want to get married. They honestly believe marriage

1:34:23
do I believe in marriage?

1:34:26
I believe in being I believe in being married. But I don't believe in the actual marriage. Like the whole process. You know, get into that contractual agreement just to get go through all this bullshit you just mentioned to me like I don't believe that. It's just so funny to me that that in America, they don't acknowledge any religious, pretty much religious thing at all. You know, you can't pray in schools. You can't do this, Annette. But we uphold marriage. Marriage is so important. So guys get married. Get married. Why is this why is that so important? Why do I have to go sign this contract for this person and it's it makes money it makes a lot of money you know, lawyers whereas going to the courts going through all that foolishness. It stimulates the economy and I mean so so I'm definitely I'm definitely

1:35:22
all about the lifetime partner. You know, being with one person I can be a one person my whole life. But I'm not about the whole business arrangement. And I'm with you word for word on that one in the sense that

1:35:34
I could absolutely see myself spending the rest of my life with one person. Yeah, I guess he was even monogamous. I might even be willing to leave the three ways at the door if it's worth it. But the contract behind it man, let's say you were running a business, you run an alex smith enterprise, and you were looking to hire an employee and their two employees in front of you. There's one where I come in and say, Hey, you know, I'm Sam. No, I'm hard work and employee, you'll pay me $50,000 a year, whatever it is, you want to pay me and we'll work hard. And we'll we'll build this business together. And we'll do this same number two says, okay, same deal. Pay me $50,000 a year we're going to work hard, whatever. But if I quit, or if you fire me, I'm gonna get half the equity in your entire business. Thank you. Do you think that will be Do you think that would even be a good employee? Hell no. Hell fuckin Oh. And just if you if you took that to one of your business buddies and said, Hey, I'm thinking about hiring this employee. Here's the contract that jacked up, they would slap you upside the damn head. But if that starts sucking your dick then everything changes.

1:36:43
Yes, it is not here. Um, I will say is not fair out forest alimony is concerned. I believe that you got to build something together. Excuse me? Yes, you should get like, for example, build something together. Not just me working in a job. A job can be taken away from me. Anytime. That's fucked up. Like you can't base someone. Oh, you're gonna tell me I have this monthly payment. And I don't have that job anymore. You know, now, we established a business together and Okay, we're though it's my business. And you no longer we're no longer together. Okay. fund her for a while. But when I say wow, yo, you got two years. You know. I mean, like, you should be some time for him. Like he gave her equity in the business. Same if you guys co signed a house. You both paid for the house. You get half the house. That's fair. Correct. But

1:37:31
this idea that Oh, I've been I made the decision to quit my job and live at your place and eat bomb bonds for the last 10 years. So now I'm incapable of working man. Get that out of my face, man. So

1:37:45
yes. So I don't believe in the lifelong partner. But I don't really even have a wedding. Like

1:37:50
Yeah. Oh, you haven't waited? Like why not? But you got to be careful about that. You know, what have you heard of common law marriage

1:37:58
in the United States? Um,

1:38:01
well, a lot of people are a lot of people are. So there are three criteria for a common law marriage. If I remember correctly, cohabitation meaning you have to live between two and seven years together. Depending on the state, you have to have a What is it, you have to present yourself as a married couple. And I think there has to be some type of joining of assets in some capacity. And that one can get a little bit sticky. So if you It's fucking ridiculous. If you live with someone, and then you start just saying, for convenience sake, even though you both agree, marriage is stupid, I don't want to, I don't want to be married. But you tell one or two people, hey, this is my wife. And they can prove that that person can make a legitimate claim of marriage. And once they do that, and they approved legitimate claim of common law marriage, they can take half a shit even though you never got married. It's only in nine states or something like that left so in a couple states, but it's it's insanity. It's pure insanity. They're trying to keep us down, man, like I

1:38:58
said, is, I think, if nothing that they do, so it has to be a reason why you guys are promoting this so heavily. You know, why is this such a great thing. And

1:39:08
it's crazy. They don't want people thinking for themselves. Man, it's gonna get crazy if people start thinking for themselves. And that's exactly what it is. That's why I'm glad you know, do podcasts like this and everything. No, just to give people a different perspective. You know, I mean, this uh, here different viewpoints and everything, you know, am I an expert or anything? No, but, you know, made it you know, 33 years. I know, that's the experience that I had. No, most people would never have. So that's why I'm always open to share. That's

1:39:36
why I like this format in general, is because for the past however many years the media best shit that you would get best case scenario is five minutes on a talk show or something like that. to voice your opinion. It was always so damn superficial. This is one of the first times in history with YouTube and podcasting that can sit your ass down in for two hours, you can explain the nuances of your opinions, because of most good opinions cannot be explained in five minutes.

1:40:05
Well, I could sell you real quick. Oh,

1:40:07
yeah, sure. Your sales your sales and you got it all you got the bullet points and everything. Let me ask you this, how do you draw boundaries in your relationship? Okay, I get the feeling from you that if I cross the boundary with you, you're gonna let me know. Okay,

1:40:24
far as boundaries in the relationship will you mean for us. So

1:40:31
it's it's very pervasive problem, in my opinion, that as a relationship goes on. And it can be both ways. Sometimes it can be the woman doing this. But more commonly, the man just starts to roll over and not establish boundaries. And something happens that he doesn't necessarily like rather than him actually voice in that opinion. And, you know, he doesn't realize it, it'll probably make the woman more attracted. And then game if he does voices opinion. I don't want to fight about that. I don't want to deal with them. They just slowly roll over and roll over and over until the girl has his balls. And then she's not attracted to him anymore. It's not really a man and then a breaking up. You just hate you strike me as a man of boundaries. And so I'm curious how you establish those boundaries, maintain those boundaries and do it and in a way with effective communication.

1:41:17
I don't push it. And you know,

1:41:21
it's funny that you say that because there's some guys will roll over and this and that. And this is why once again, you got to know the type of person that you're looking for. Because I knew I know how I am. I'm a, I'm going to address the situation to have a person like, I'm gonna say this shit right in and they're like, what the fuck? You don't like the why you got me? I'm gonna say this, you're right in there. So there's no thinking about if I like something or not. So that's why I knew I needed someone who is going to be able to challenge me as well. You know, because I've had relationships in the past where as soon as I say something, or or, you know, just get a little upset. Okay, okay. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I liked I was like, what's funny? No, tell me I'm wrong. Because I want those people that you know, I'm the alpha male. So, and I gotta tell you before I have control issue, like, I I want to be in control. And when someone when someone refers to me as having control issues, my rebuttal was always everyone has control issues. It's only some of us are able to take it back where others can't they just shut up and take it. So I want to see with that. No, you're not gonna, you're not gonna believe me. So my relationship, we have that kind of relationship where I don't like something, I'm gonna tell her. Oh, yeah, we're gonna argue, I come up with your life. We're gonna, we're going to fight. We're gonna sit here and argue it out. We got, we got to talk about it, you know, we're gonna get it out. And then after a while, you know, usually used to be me having to apologize to cool it down. Because after a while, a while now. It's, um, we'll get right back to where we were, you know, that the being best friends. And, you know, I mean, the problem, the point that you should do is when it comes to your boundaries, you should,

1:43:02
you should have verbalize that, you know, let her know. And, and hit and tell them as soon as it happens, you know, as soon as they do it. Oh, because sometimes we all know what we like or don't like, until we try until it happens. So you just gotta let them know right away. Like, hey, Oh, don't don't let you know that. That's not it. Don't like that. You know, so. But my relationship

1:43:23
I like to I like the argument and I like the argument. I like the argument I would say like you're getting but I just like the fact that she has fun today. You she's um, she's standing up for yourself,

1:43:36
correct? It's more of a debate. Mm hmm. You know, cuz I'm a salesman and I'm always a sales mode that's light for me right so sometimes and then she would catch me in sales mode and like don't don't don't you don't do that shit to me Don't try to do that shit so another five minute sales face not gonna work over here so she'll call me out on the shit is like I like that. You know, I mean, I like someone who could call me on my show something Tell me Shut the fuck up. Because I'm asking I have fun being so like so I say she just uh. I don't like weakness around me. And that's I don't like me once again. That's the conditioning I don't like softness or weakness. So and a lot of people come to me for that because they're gonna tell me about oh my god this happiness and I don't want to hear about the problem here about the solution I don't care about the problem like this has already happened. Where'd you come up with so my whole thing is people know they come to me with that bullshit I'm gonna tell them hell man the fuck up and sometimes they come to me because of that because they know I'm gonna tell him man fuck up like oh my god this happened that happened you know she happens yeah she happens so my personality is I'm kind of an even keel person I try to stay even keel as much about not get too excited. And I get too low. Just try to stay even keel when I handle situation, you know, to try to. But she's gonna happen. Everyone has a problem that they think is the worst thing in the world. Everyone has a problem. And it's all up to your subjective like, how severe it is this up to you? I don't know. I can't tell you. You know, you get you breaking up with someone. You may take it harder than I can. But I don't want to hear about that shit. I don't want to hear about oh my god. I'm so sad. I don't. I don't know what to do. I don't know. No. Get over it. Like, you don't have another option. I'm that guy. I'm that guy that people come to. Cuz I'm going to tell you. I don't want to hear your excuses. I don't care. I don't care about an issue, though. Very

1:45:21
interesting. If you went and asked 100 people is complaining useful? Does complaining have any place in anyone's life? I would bet pretty good money that 100 out of 100 people. Unless one of them's a psychopath. They're all gonna say no, absolutely not. Why would you ever complain? And yet, so many people do it. So many people do it.

1:45:46
I don't know how I was built this way. But like I said, My whole thing is solutions. Hmm. I don't. Okay. I can't I can't change it. You actually

1:45:53
nailed it right there. You know, especially in your career. This is a piece of advice. My friend has given me the other day. rather an anecdote. He told me he's working at up there's like a massage place, right? And he has a really, really great employee. His boss sat him down one day, and he said, You're a great employee. But you need to stop coming to me with problems. You can't come to me and tell me, hey, the wash machine is broken. You can't come to me and tell me Hey, the computer system is fucked up. Don't come to me with problems come to me. Solutions come say, hey, the wash machine is broken. But I figured out why this is how we're going to fix it pouring out you're gonna be CEO in a week. And, and, you know,

1:46:31
it's funny, cuz and that's one of my pet peeves. I had to realize it as well. I had a really good I had to get to know myself that but that bothers the hell out of me. When people do that. Like, okay. Oh, just not work. Okay, what did you do to try to find this top just coming to me to find out like, no, yes, I sure I can figure it out. But that's exactly what I'll be doing. figuring it out. Like,

1:46:53
that's not my it's not my technology. I don't know how to do it. It'll be me trying to figure it out. Why can't you figure it out. And at the very least, if you're genuinely thought, if you're genuinely down shit river, and you can't figure it out, go to them. But just be careful about how you phrase it. We say hey, the washing machine is broken. I gotta be honest with you, Alex, I don't really know anything about washing machines. Do you have any advice on how I can fix it says it's such a simple fix, rather than saying, Hey, watch machines broken and just dumb down a lap? Say, Alex, do you have any advice on how I can solve this problem? And it just completely changes the entire approach to to the situation. So I would say that, um, you know, just to just knowing that talking about your different boundaries and different things that bother you like, like I said, because there's things I could be very, you know, Milton sometimes that's what I tell you.

1:47:39
I started off with saying that I had to realize that everyone's not our minds. Not everyone has our mindset. So it's, I have to sometimes catch myself and step back like, you know, if he's wonderful. One quote that I use and now follow is, you know, competition breeds excellence.

1:47:56
I love competition. I love things that is going to push me to go when the level so not everyone's cup is competitive, you know, people were just doing this for fun. And so I'm like, Okay, let me step back. Let me not try to win. And, you know, so that that is definitely probably my biggest thing in a relationship as well as just kind of remembering that, you know, that everyone's not

1:48:20
will also with regards to the arguing and debating and drawing boundaries part is you need to realize, I mean, you in particular, you're hyper logical. You're I can, I can tell you right now, you are so far on the logical side of the spectrum. And some men need to realize that, you know, you could be Dayton, a very logical girl, but women just fundamentally argue differently than men. They're arguing with emotion. And when you say that, it sounds so fucking bad, you know, there's going to be a million years. No, we're fucking we're logical. We're a lot we don't already based on emotion, relax, it's not a bad thing. In fact, it's the same reason that makes women amazing, their emotional present to the moment the same reason that makes them amazing, it just makes them argue a little bit differently. And so you need to take that into consideration when you're arguing with them. And so what I tell people is, a lot of times you're having an argument in your relationship, you know, sometimes your woman did cross the boundary and you need to logically explain why she can't do that. But let's say it's coming at you the other direction let's say you cross the boundary with her quote unquote, and maybe you didn't take out the trash you didn't do the dishes, chances are it's not a problem with the logic that's how she's trying to express it because that's how people express it in the world and that's how people talk but it's probably a problem with the emotion rather than the logic it's probably you might have really fucked up you might have fucked her sister and you got to deal with that but chances are she's just not feeling enough love you know what is so and this is why conversation is so important just that simple suggestion like that's simple advice you just gave it hit me like oh damn I forgot all about that you're absolutely

1:50:08
right and I'm thinking about some of the arguments when we you know goes through our our arguments shit like down I am very actually with this distance to that yeah she's just like I don't care oh yeah you know I'm saying like you're playing basketball she's

1:50:22
up here playing football or basketball somewhere you're not

1:50:26
even in the same sport I never thought about it before and you know I never even yeah cuz I am I am logical them off with like because things have to make sense to me like in I'm always gonna have this one thing that pisses her all cuz I'm gonna have evidence to back to show like I'm actually know what I call the PowerPoint presentation.

1:50:42
Your damn Excel spreadsheet. Me

1:50:44
I do that shit. I feel I should get this man. Try this

1:50:48
next time. You're in a heated argument. And this might be the most difficult thing you've ever done in your life. Because we're men and we love to argue and we love to winner but next time in the middle of a heated argument. No matter what. what it's about. Just stop right there in the middle. Colon attracts. Just look at her and say, baby I know this sucks. I know our argument. But I love you so much. And we're gonna get through this and give her a hug and oh my god. gonna melt you're gonna fucking mouth that. That arguments as good as over man. It's as good as over because now you're playing football. You're not playing basketball versus football. And were you playing football? You scored a goddamn touchdown. You're playing a sport. It's just an emotional issue. Usually. Yes. You're absolutely right.

1:51:29
I got you. Yeah, look at you. teaching me stuff is good. And then obviously you're playing things back and I'm just sitting here like when I'm okay. And yes, in at this time.

1:51:39
Yeah. And.

1:51:41
And she's like, you know, I don't give a fuck. I'm trying to say I'm

1:51:46
like, I'm like,

1:51:46
Why are you yelling me? I'm showing you the proof.

1:51:49
If this is a court case, I would be winning right now. But they're just so cool. Like, yeah, they do argue differently. Like, bro, it's hard though. In order to do that. You need to take your ego and you need to crumple it up and need to throw it in the damn trash. You need to throw it in the trash. And also you can't do this every time you can't do this 100% of the time and started going to be baby it's going to be getting Shut the fuck up with that baby stuff. We're having an argument All right. Like we need to get through this guy. I mean, you can only do this so often. And you need to establish those boundaries like what we're talking about. That's what makes you attractive but a lot of the time you can get away with this and it's going to save you a lot of turmoil I would tell people to that are you know, contemplating if they should stay or leave a relationship that I'm

1:52:32
doing like any other business or anything that you're gonna that you're thinking about starting that's good How do you know when it's time to leave outweigh the pros and cons? Um, if there's more cons and pros it's time to go Yep. Yeah I would say that would be the easiest way sit down and I mean like really sit down take some time no being a quiet place and write down both sides you know what do you love about her you know what

1:52:58
what attracted you to her or right now on the okay where the the bad things doing so you might sit down and realize like, you know, she's really not that bad. I'm just kinda I just overreacting to you realize that, okay, yeah, this was an emotional response. And that's so funny that because I was working on trying to take out emotion out a bit both business and as well as relationship so we could try to think about, okay, what's really this, but you just cleared up for me like as well, I'll try to take away the emotion out of adding it, you know, Chief Operating or that and now I'm understanding that damn somebody misunderstand. It's just simply what you're saying. I'm playing the wrong game here.

1:53:40
And I'm so funny because when you tell me a pro and con list, I'm like Alex Smith. Hell yeah. pro and con list. That's what I'm talking about. Now. We're getting somewhere. Now we can make some decision. You're gonna go to a girl who's having relationship problems. Hey, you know what? Tina? Why don't you make a pro and con list? Are you kidding me?

1:53:58
Are you fucking, I don't make a damn pro and con last. That's ridiculous. That's just so outside the element that they're operating in the dinette that tells you how much they really want this relationship. Like I said, Everything we do is to get a significant other, but why are we putting any work in to keep this person you know, and I will tell you know, those days, especially, you know, because the guys always have to take the lead for some reason, this equality society, but up for the guys. I will just say treat every date, like the first date. Um, you know, just good advice at like, the first date, you know, you know, when you were nervous, and you know, when you're trying to get to know them when you're asking questions tree later when you were still open well as do it all the time. But when you still opening the door, so tree every time you guys go out, like it's the first date, like, you know, extra questions, get to know her, you know, and I would say that probably my best advice is treat every day. Like it's the first one and and you're gonna be on your best behavior. You know, you're gonna be paying attention to her, you're gonna, you know, mean. So just treat every day like because, like I said, we do all this work to get them but we don't do any work to maintain it. Like we forget about it all the time. That'd be like focusing on just pure customer acquisition but nothing on retention or been there before she lost a lot of money on that. Well, yeah. So up like, think about it. Like, I'm sure you got must be able to code like something about to do I do have some drop off the bus, I guess. Yeah, right. But yeah, like we not doing the work to keep them like and it's a constant. Just like being entrepreneur. Just like be just like motivation. People think motivation is a one time thing. No, you got to do it every day. Like that's where the consistency comes in. Where you have to stay consistently doing you just gotta keep thinking in your mind that you know what, it's the first day you know, let me let me impress her. Let me do something to show her that she's wanted. You know, because that's all they really want. Row is women are so simple. They really are simple. The simplest and

1:55:57
most complicated creatures on the on the face of the earth.

1:56:00
Exactly. It's like playing fucking Zelda Yeah, it's like follow gay but it's just couple forget puzzle. Yeah, Nintendo reference for those but I'll enter the Zelda speed runners out there to put the entire game and 17 minutes right like a pro basketball players out so but but that's that's what's up to the guys is just out you know, try to be consistent you know, and this is once again where it is being yourself. You know, also understanding what she wants know what she's looking for. But you're not going to get this without asking questions now. So if you're motivated to get the policy or you're going to skip past all these steps, you know, but if you actually try to find a relationship and also I would tell the guys to is Be confident you know, have confidence because at the end of the day they outnumber us so

1:56:50
dudes and that was one thing that my mindset was I was my mind says always been I'm a hot commodity. Yep. Like

1:56:58
Yeah, you're great woman. Oh, what is it lot easier for me to find a good women it is for you to find a good guy. Oh, that is true. Yeah,

1:57:05
so that's why my mind says always I know I'm a good guy. I'm loyal to a fault. Like I know I know that those big feels like the opposite. Because it girl can find a guy to fuck them in three seconds flat, but finding a quality guy to fuck them. And God forbid a quality guy to fuck them and stick around doing something with their life. Oh, holy grail, bro. And if you if you get all that if they're like, like 35 or 40 and they don't have any divorces and kids and baggage and they got their shit together and they're working out and they got good dick and they'll stick around Are you kidding me? Are you that's a lottery ticket bro. If you end up being 14 you don't have all that shit and he ever shit together Oh my god it's okay right in

1:57:46
this day and age 2520 you

1:57:50
know so that's what I'm saying. So guys it's very easy to be company guys like I will tell it to all the guys listening on the guys in general like and I'm one of those people that I point out these qualities that people know sometimes you just need these boots and I'm like first time I met you like I told you at your commodity why because he's doing this this and that Ba ba ba ba ba maybe

1:58:11
maybe like you probably never

1:58:13
did this whole complementary it is working even told me about its complement strategy and it's still working on me damn

1:58:18
right and he got me but it made you start thinking like you know what he's absolutely right like yeah what am i tripping about know like your Phuket Thailand like if you really want to right now you could damn they go out at you know i mean like so guidelines. easy mode, bro. You just turn the difficulty down like nine points when you move out to Thailand. Yeah. So now it's just you just have to have that mindset is all about mindset. Even when it comes to sports like mindset, what do you even we talk about, like professional level sports. Everyone's a pro for a reason. But what separates you from them is your mindset how you see things, how you interpret it. So if you see yourself as you know, I am a great catch. You're going to start carry yourself great kids. Now you're coming now you're approaching this woman from a position of power instead of a position of oh my god to put these on a pedestal like, like, I'll try to get this you know, this four year old virgin reference. But you know, we put the put me on a pedestal like, Oh my God, this unattainable thing like, no, now you're coming in, in a position of power. Like, Hey, how are you? My name is Alexander now they're like, oh, excuse me. Oh, wow. He that's it. Just kind of realize that you are not, you know, just realize you're what you're good at and get better at different things. You know, and that's why I say different things can help people with their competence as well. Whether it's reading some choose to go to the gym, like by going to the gym.

1:59:44
They lie, guys who just go for the muscles. They have no substance when it comes to just a mess. Okay, great. You can have a great physique, but what else are you doing outside the gym? What are you reading? What are they? What do women like? You know, what are the things that wasn't like one of the things I used to do it

2:00:01
I used to wear like women fragrances, no shit like, especially when I was back in. What's the logic behind that days of living at home? Because she if they like it, why would they like it or

2:00:11
did it work all the time? What does that

2:00:17
mean? I pomegranate

2:00:19
like really? Like, think about

2:00:23
how you have a smell. cologne

2:00:24
was like Okay, yeah, I was like, Okay, yeah, but it's cool. But you ever smell women fragrances? It's like, Oh, that sounds amazing. query

2:00:34
like

2:00:35
but so I'm like, so I started when I was in that it was like, Okay, I will go to my mom's house and then grab a bottle. Hello, Victoria's Secret and I was praying on myself like you know,

2:00:47
small pieces of shit like

2:00:50
nice like hell yeah. It's like if you guys remember it's about psychology it's about figuring out how is the one sense most closely tied to memory correct so why would I want to be smelling like a man yeah x and you smell like manly know trying to attract hair like smell like peaches alone you know get more people more bees with honey then oh, like so that was a peaches apparently. Right? So that was my logic like shift they like it. Why would they like it? Oh, me like it just made sense. But no, it's just things like that I used to do you know, strategies just to just to figure out you know, and it all all the stuff that we're talking about guys it's trial and error as well even find out what works for you. But you have to try it that's the first thing is conquering that fear you know like so many women have been went into with guys that are unattractive and you'd be like, Why don't fuck issue with him. You know why conquer that fear? Because he conquer

2:01:46
that fear of an approach. There is so many gorgeous single women out there that you just you're looking at me like damn, she has the world she probably has a million guys after her. She probably don't have shit don't have shit. And especially if you're the type of man who's really developed himself. You've read your fucking books, you've hit the gym, you've done everything you need to you should be looking at her and thinking Holy shit. I can enhance her life so much. And honestly if you are that type of man, it's true. And for her to reject you. your thought process should be she just turned on one page treasure magic you like going up and saying I've got the winning lottery ticket she says no, I'm okay you're crazy. And that's how you should think you're crazy. That's it and and and it's funny because and once again I guess this was my competition or being competitive or whatnot is I like those women that are intimidating

2:02:38
them because it keeps the other guys away. Yeah so once I know what's I conquer? That is like that's my

2:02:45
like funny dude the sevens get hit on more than the 10s correct they honestly do low hanging fruit yep no one wants to climb to the top of the trees gonna hurt when you fall down no one wants to work hard

2:02:58
that's why I said you know

2:03:01
diamonds are made by pressure so I like difficult route in the ones that do talk to the 10 I mean 90% of ones that come up or it's going to be drunk people that like finally got the courage and it's like the weird 50 year old man in the club like how common is it that a normal sober dude alex smith throws up says hey I'm I'm Alex Smith how's it going Nice to meet you How you doing today correct to the 10s what excuse what

2:03:26
so now you're now you're even in a smaller percentile again was is that he was acting normal around me are you kidding me exactly my point like and so but so guys need to think about these type of things change their mindset you know is you know what I'm gonna go introduce her to a chance of a lifetime like you know I am a great guy hope she doesn't talk this up and that's exactly my mindset but like I said and that's how I look at him like I love ice to be that person in the club you know I see over everyone that would look for the woman that's in the corner like in the corner Carla disinterested in this stuff. Like, and I do that sales as well. Once again, it's probably comes out to the sales because if I had you as someone else at the table, you and your wife at the table, I'm attacking the one that's more standoffish. Okay. I'm not talking to you, who you are having a great conversation. I'm talking to the one that silence that says I'm getting them on my side first. So that's kind of how I operate when I see women out to those sort of women that's, you know, oh, nobody better fuck with me. You know, she has rested bitch face. Yes. Yeah. But she still hot, you know, yep, I'm going to them. And I'm going to say something to them. That's going to either make them laugh or, you know,

2:04:35
I love to make people laugh. And yeah, perseverance to because even if they do laugh, that they're going to have that barrier for a while. out of necessity. This is what this is what men don't realize will go up. Talk to that girl. Come back. Like oh, what happened? Oh, didn't go. Well. She was up bitch. Well, bro, what would you do? If you were a 10 in a club? Are you going to entertain every single fucking dumb ass that comes up to you? You'd have no time you couldn't walk anywhere, man, you'd be thought you have to have a barrier of entry. If you're a beautiful female. You see, I'm saying and you need to realize that as a man and going up and thinking she has to as a barrier of entry. It's my job to show her look, I'm a normal human being. And honestly, it probably won't take more than a minute or two. If you just stick with it for a minute or two. That's more than 99% of guys get past they got to say hey, you know what's up I'm Bob and they just don't get much response shit she doesn't like me and walks off stick it out for 60 seconds bro.

2:05:30
And once again you see these hideous guys it lightens mingle with the dives because once again perseverance you know and sales were taught the sale doesn't start till after seven knows yeah you know like like like I didn't even start you the sale prices started until you get you know rejected a few times you know that should get you more motivated to you know, know what damn again Yeah. Especially if you know what you're selling is a great product that you should be it should be easy for you to you know it you know I'm gonna give her one more chance um, you know me so I even when I approach it's so funny because when I approached women especially when they're like that sometimes they don't know if I'm coming to give them a job or just coming to introduce kinda like why just

2:06:15
being so articulate

2:06:16
is like you know so And like I mentioned to you before last time we were here is

2:06:22
everyone wants someone that makes them laugh right? Who does that you know I hate this guy. He makes me laugh treated terribly I will always try to make him smile or do something that's why I knew okay I crack them and like I was mentioned to you before I will say this most off the wall thing just to make a smile a little bit something I walk away or

2:06:43
what do you got what is

2:06:44
your best like a one when I told you this like you know you can either use you know sweet excuse me I'm sorry to bother you I know you're so busy right now but I just want to let you know that oh I love your eyelashes

2:07:00
what you just told me about eyelashes notice is my last show another good one like you mentioned to me oh I think you said a the toenail page yeah yeah

2:07:08
yeah girls will intentionally a lot more often than anything intentionally match the color of their fingernails to their accessories go up and notice that be like hey and also you want to take this one level deeper get an idea of just two or three of the most popular brands of jewelry and things like that the biggest one right now is Kendra Scott fucking huge you go up and say man I love how you matched your your your peach fingernails that can just cut necklace it actually looks really well it's a perfect look for you once again Holy

2:07:37
fuck bro Are you kidding me? Are you kidding me research you study you knew what you wanted to so you gotta you gotta learn something about what you

2:07:47
you run the risk of them thinking you're gay because you're going a little deeper at that point career make sure they don't think that they will they will never think that yeah but it's just the simple fact that you research you know i mean and that's what people forget like every This is like the the only topic where people don't want to do the research like it's like well people think it like makes them less of a man for some reason it's very weird it's there are only two things that men feel like they should just come into the world good at and that's getting girls and fighting I don't know why I train every single dude on the planet is just convinced they can get girls and they can fight and it's funny because those are actually probably two things I put the most effort into improving

2:08:33
you have to is very important but once again people just think it's it's just some guy give it No you had to go out and prove these like that low that you just taught me was like oh my god like wow isn't you know if I need it like I knew how to compliment will mess you gonna be like whoa Are you know I'm not I just wasn't it just wasn't let you know that thought it was it was nice blah blah. And they do a lot of work so much they do a lot of work to go and appreciate huh

2:09:00
so once you gotta roll up you can be out so much rather be a guy these girls got to compete and put on this new interest and get the hair done for three days hours we literally as men we just have to because I'll talk to guys say man it's not fair it's not fair. These girls get all the dick they wanted a standard guys come on dude are you kidding me? Do you know how much they had to work out and prep themselves and do this and this and this and this and that all you gotta do is pick the one you like a golf and say hey what's up it's so so so much easier than what they do

2:09:31
honestly I just remember when the last I used to use what I was trying to make a laugh when we got to get their attention I would go up you know because of my height I'll typically go for the taller women and which is great because the marketplace yeah yeah great so I love go for so I had to height requirement you know five eight and above right so I would go up to them as my job to stand next to and I'd be like I whispered air like Why doesn't it feel great they be like what oh beaten next one man where you can wear your heels

2:10:03
like

2:10:05
yeah this is

2:10:09
the height thing and that it always goes on I just want to be able to wear my heels okay first off shut off just admit that he like a tall guy Don't give me that he'll share but

2:10:16
it's so fucking funny you say like that so I've used that because what what is like you know you know six foot eight like you know where all the damn heels he want I want you to acknowledge it you know sometimes they're just cold called up so they don't see me or yeah we came to me so I want them to you know take notice like it's bringing attention

2:10:34
to your good qualities in a funny way

2:10:36
correct so now now there did turn around do what okay whoa

2:10:43
you play basketball Why yes I do you want to see somebody is you got you got the whole flow chart ready to go

2:10:49
to flow charts guys stay on stay on path yeah I have gotten back to the flowchart gotta have guidelines salesforce dot com correct you don't have I don't use a map but I do have guidelines so depending on depending on where the conversation is going I know okay this trigger word or okay and then like I said before to watch body language you know once again by like what says so much of what's going on you know me so I try to watch and pay attention to what's going on you know and even simple things like looking at them in their eye when you speak to them like people don't do the things

2:11:24
like nicely once you start doing it you know it pissed me off is when girls don't do it to me because I was really shitty but I contact for a while and I got that dialed in and now I'm I'm probably a little more too intense and I should be with eye contact I'm on it all the time and then I'll get girls where they won't look at me in the eye biggest fucking turn off it drives me insane it's come on Look at me What are you doing what are you scared of light and that's

2:11:48
when it comes up to me is when someone's you know looking down or they're shy their meat like what are you looking down no I'm I'm having a conversation with you so that those that want to get those little bilingual things that I read that can let me know okay my into my into this person you know I yeah she seems a little too timid for me yeah she can't be around so those type of things you'd like the tiger was very much

2:12:15
so funny that you said I told her I was here a month before she got here uh huh. And that's one of the things that I told her it was like yeah Ty women not for me No it's like oh I had you know a little too shy for me shy you know the

2:12:26
whole site is on top of not knowing English equals

2:12:31
So that wasn't my thing at all but you know I love what I have now you know it took some time and it was unexpected I would damn show says unexpected Jesus Christ was not expecting that oh but I'm glad it happened and you know it changed me you know it is softened me up some and for a while I was mad about it like because I was one of those guys that you know do whatever I want go about one you know not have a care in the world you know just do my thing thing and and yeah here's this person that's like what I think about her to before make a decision like what like someone else's feelings into account what oh my god like oh no oh god so but now it's like okay are you traumatized Are you okay I went to do it Alex yeah it talk to someone we were we were playing we went to this couples event once a like Wednesday or Thursday and you know they're the hostess accidents questions and when the question she asked is what would you tell your younger self

2:13:30
about the relationship before it happens

2:13:34
and that they that we both we both agreed on is patience

2:13:40
patience was the number one thing I said I would tell my my younger self is to be patient you know meaning that not so quick to just given things time you know seeing where things are going you know not be in such a rush to or to change someone or just overall the whole relationship you just take time and and really just

2:14:06
now really get to know each other more you know i mean just be patient about it Don't be in such a rush just to okay you know I gotta do this I gotta do I gotta do I gotta do and that's its overall and life is that we miss off missile see we mess up so much good opportunity because we want to be patient you know whether it's business whether it's where we don't want to take the patient we so we're in this what can you do for me now mindset where the fortune is really in patients like waiting you know waiting your time to shine you know people that are masterpiece that are greatly successful in their arena is that should took time like but we see it we're like yeah I want that now you know and we don't want to go through the pain that it really takes to get there so I wouldn't say yeah that I would just tell my younger self hey you know be patient with yourself be patient with her you know be patient with your finance be patient with everything just take your time is going to happen just relax Take a deep breath so that will be my my best advice to young me you know young out Don't be so running gun

2:15:08
and that's good advice you've been at this for a hot minute hour two hours good times

2:15:12
good times they will wrap this up yeah sorry my man man I suppose you have a social media or anything we can find you on not that I'm actively doing anything all right now because I'm to be honest with you This is the most business have spoken about two and a half months yeah I'm in Thailand I'm trying to chill reinvent myself you know cuz a lot of people are like Why don't you get still giving advice and and I don't want to anymore you know that was something I did in the states I got the last bits of advice right before you closed off now you do have me thinking of a new okay maybe I should do this you know dual relationship thing going on now but it's something different that haven't been doing because I've been in finance for so long and Mike had to assimilate to that life so it's like now I'm just oh god who who am I now I'm I'm in Thailand so tell her I'm looking at picking up music instruments I'm looking at doing it they'll tell you about the martial arts now yeah so I'm like okay somebody some data now that money is no longer an issue is like yo we want you know I can once again because the finances is taken care of I could properly enjoy my relationship yeah cuz I'm not stressing about the next paycheck the mortgage that's why I said finances a close number one or number two because we're not worried about those things anymore you know we just tell them are so we had to slow down because every night where we're out somewhere somebody's been there or doing something we're just like no okay we're getting tired now but we can money

2:16:43
Some people say money isn't everything blah blah blah that's bullshit don't ever believe that money can't buy you happiness but it buys you options as your freedom buys you options option of saying yes and no opposed to just saying no you know how many people to come over to Thailand and don't have the money to do it right now or I can't afford so don't so I hate when I used to hear people say oh money is everybody bitch why yeah like a lot Oh really? And when the when the expressions I where the course I always take is I rather be crying in the best and and you know I mean I yeah okay i'm not everybody

2:17:20
in the band you know the best my sex me like are you okay?

2:17:25
So but that's why therapists as I said there's no romance without finance you know like I said we're going on dates and doing everything that you know that that was difficult to states you know especially me you know be an entrepreneur and not having a schedule and so I could get called up someone he asked me to come over you know someone just passed away or you know the markets doing bad either mutual funds, so, I was always pretty much always on call like, never really had no set hours like that. So, now that stuffs out the way you know I did what I had to do now is okay, let's live life and it's time to get a little bored. Oh,

2:18:03
cool. Shit. Yo

2:18:05
man, but definitely man brother I appreciate you I appreciate you today. Thanks for listening to me ramble for the last you know two hours Alex I learned I learned a lot from you ramblings oh yeah this uh.

2:18:18
Yeah sometimes you know that I'm back down to the on this planet though. I I gotta some lines out of town. Let me compliment girls eyelashes left right center.

2:18:26
You gotta do it guys, whether it's male, female or whatever complements our icebreakers. People go through their everyday life, never getting complimenting, never getting compliments, and they do things they want to be complimented. But no one is compliment. So I would say guys, if you if you want to try something new, or you were changing your approach, you know, communication or whatever, I would say the first task you should do is just have a day where you just try to compliment two people, two people a day just trying to discover me say a hold of conversation, not just give them company. Hey, no, like you should rub you know. And it's crazy. Because compliments translate in every language. I have so many Thai friends who don't speak a lick of English being very little time. But just because I told him, Yo, I love the shirt you wear, you know. And that's simple. Silent was like, Yo shirt. I like thumbs up like, I love it. Hey, yeah. And they get so happy about that. Like everyone, everyone wants that acknowledgement. Say what they want. Everybody wants to be acknowledged, you know me. So I would say that, guys, if you're having issues with communicating with people or want to try to get out of your, you know, if you're an introvert, you want to try to get out of it. I would say start small, just say, you know, two people a day just to give a compliment, you know, whether it's male or female, you know, just Hey, man. Hey, bro. That's one less you know, it's a nice shirt. All right. Take care. Have a good day. You know, you know, I mean, that little it going to do so much for them. But also, you might just establish a new business relationship because it costs you and nearly cost, you know, tell someone Hey, that's what she does it all time as well. She She will say, you know, she'll give people compliment naturally. But also, she'll say something like, for example, we'll go out to a new venue that we never been to. And she like that. I love that girls dress. I was a baby, go do it. Go tell me that she doesn't stop nature as well. But I would tell her Hey, specifically, so like hanging out with you too, so much. He made me feel so damn good about myself.

2:20:22
We got on the last podcast and you were like, Sam, I love your podcast. Sam. I love a question Sam. It's gonna be great. I was like, Oh guys, you're making me blush.

2:20:31
But I would tell her to do that because I know was gonna do because special. We've been in a new country and everything. They're shy. They're doing this since I was

2:20:38
a baby. literally make today make their week.

2:20:41
Yes. I will say baby, go tell her that she looks nice. And she would do it. Because like I said she, she. She She doesn't say anyway. especially coming from a girl to another girl. Where there's no like, Oh, is this guy. That's why that's why that's why I don't do it. That's why I would sometimes I will tell. Especially in the penalty environment. I would say baby go tell her. She looks like well, even if I said it's a big hotel. Just a strike up a conversation. Just the next thing you know. Now she's Oh, thank you. Blah, blah, blah. Next. Oh, by the way, this is my boyfriend Alex. Now you brought me over. Yeah. Now she introduced me to her friends. Now. Next, you know, now I got a whole now we're drinking a whole bottle of a whole new circle all because I told her to go say yep. And this happens all the time to us, by the way. So I literally go in the club and I will sit out how sit there and try pinpoint people I want to know. Yep. Or okay. You know, like a fun group. Okay. I like influential people I want you to send her or I will give them a comment myself as they're walking. Do Hey, I'll tap them on the show. I'll go out my way doesn't make sure that they know that. Hey, so nice shirt, man. Yeah, killing. So that would be my last bit of advice for you guys. Um, thank you. Once again, say

2:21:47
thank you for your listeners. And you guys enjoy your day. Peace. Thank you for listening to the mental architect. I am your host Sam cb. If you enjoyed this episode, go on down to iTunes and smash that review button so hard that your finger falls off

2:22:05
if you want to learn the secrets of the universe. Or if you want to watch the video version of this podcast go to CMC br e dot com. This has been your no bullshit blueprint for peak performance. And as always, until next time.

Sam is an ambassador for personal growth. When Sam started to take action towards a better life, it wasn’t long before he was hooked faster than Captain Blackbeard’s left hand. Years later, Sam strives to produce change in others similar to the identity level transformation which occurred within himself. His aim is to break fulfillment down into a series of straightforward steps, and introduce it into the life of anyone who is willing to embark on the path of action, education and ownership.